watte quandary

Its about 5 30 in the evening,i sit in the dining room where i study,no,no more study jokes. There are kids playing in the green area that separates the apt complexes.There is a terribly fat lady watching the kids. she always wears skimpy tops.The kids are on a scooter thing.The indian couple dont let their kid go play there,though i have heard him ask quite plaintively if he could.
I have just woken up after a quick nap,which was supposed to be just a line to fool sleeping into coming quickly but i think its caught on,it took forever to just fall asleep,"you" can ask why,then,did i try so hard. just sleep games.
I had looked for part time writing editing jobs that i could do earlier on before i started preparing for the exams, There was an Indian lady who had put up an ad on craigslist. She apparently has a blog,a food blog and she wants someone to edit it out.For some reason i mailed without even first checking her blog.
Two mistakes here.
1. I will edit blogs now? These days i take painstaking efforts to remember not to use short forms in my own blog and to try and figure the whole kuth,comma.Not that i have gotten anywhere with it
2. I did check her blog.Her very vegetarian,north indian food blog. Sigh.All kinds of words i dont like in that one line.

She did mail back saying she will pay $10 an hr. I usually always reply to people's mails,i might get late sometimes but i always do.Anyway i dint.
and i forgot about it. today she mailed again asking "why arent you interested anymore?" I felt quite bad.
Mail i will.

I have now turned tables and want to get into only an MFA program. I heard someone on a blog say that its probably easier to get a medical seat,that sounded funny but the more i read the more panicky i have become.Each moderately decent place takes about 4 to 6 people in each program,so thats say poetry 6,non fiction 6 etc and of course you dont want to fund a program like this by yourself,cos when you come out,you are basically just more well read,well rounded with no real world skills. who wants to know how fast you finished Tolstoy,which btw is the longest time i have taken on a book.

so the basic assumption is if you apply to as many as you can,someone might just like your writing. watte presumption.

I wonder if anyone will.I wonder what stories i should start working on to send. i wonder what to write in Sop without sounding like a cliche,an old bore,arrogant etc..
I wonder if i should spend so much of my money on this and then have so many rejection letters. why is it so hard!

Meanwhile leaves are beggining to turn yellow,and fall. so i shall just look forward to that and take many pictures.

ps: also
I feel like its some kind of twisted testing. Like, lets see what you will pick. Whoever is heading this particular division up there,be warned.
 I will always pick Option 1.

More later