The days go by in a haze of fucking and of familiar smells that cling on even after a hasty or even a long wash,a scrubbed down one and yet i come out feeling raw and of food devoured regretted and then tried to be shed,lost,get rid of,anything,by running in d gym like a panicked horse,
of word lists and a certain smugness that is not exibited due to a certain fear of jinxing it but still amazing the random words i do know, and the ones i dont swirl around in my head in strange moments like when i stand with yellow gloves on (to protect my fingernails) washing dishes that the boi says "Creeps on us" when we are not looking,they say amongst themselves "look look no one is watching and jump into the sink,rubbing shoulders with whatever is there in a spirit of chumminess and then get greasy and with butter smileys on plates and bowls and glasses that smile up in evil grins.
of cheesecakes,looked at and then tasted and then followed up with orgasmic noises,disgusting,embarassing and thankfully alone.
Of the hot summer, a blinding sun and new people. new people always make me nervous,esp one's that dont smile much,one's that dont smiley faces in chat too, but these new people are allright so far. of a big,large,rambling library and of a random book picked with no catalogue checked,no plan nothing, just for the black simple cover and the joy when it turns out i love it.
of watching the boi when he is not looking and watch some more and get caught and feel little ugh and of saying the same things together and look surprised for a few seconds and then yell at each other. sick. pretty sick.
Of many movies,watched together,alone and still waiting to be seen. shamelessly be myself and expect him to like it. not sure if he likes it. cant do anything now.
these are my days.
Showing posts with label Love Bites. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love Bites. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Like once upon a time story
So once upon a time, long long back when i was with,ok i was with someone and the boi was with uhm crazy woman (this is me being polite) back in the day when we were buddies i would ask the boi what he thought of random guys who had asked me out/hit on me/ i was interested in but couldnt be that bothered with. The boi obliged by looking at their whatever profiles i showed him. He mostly dissed them all,not in a mean way,more like wtf!
Then he would remember what am asking him to do and there would be protests and vehement cry's of how am handing over the girlfriend title to him and how he sure wasnt interested. "stop it! am not your gf! and he looks like a shmuck" were heard frequently.
It was much fun. this. for me. I could totally pretend he was dissing them cos he wanted me all to himself, imaginary tales of his jealous sleepless nights went through my head. Who was i kidding anyway. But hey may the best man win right. Ha.
And all that has passed and after it all we are here,now.
And guess who will be coming with me for sex and the city two.
All is fair in? ----
Then he would remember what am asking him to do and there would be protests and vehement cry's of how am handing over the girlfriend title to him and how he sure wasnt interested. "stop it! am not your gf! and he looks like a shmuck" were heard frequently.
It was much fun. this. for me. I could totally pretend he was dissing them cos he wanted me all to himself, imaginary tales of his jealous sleepless nights went through my head. Who was i kidding anyway. But hey may the best man win right. Ha.
And all that has passed and after it all we are here,now.
And guess who will be coming with me for sex and the city two.
All is fair in? ----
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Life is all Haha Heehee
So this is the letter from Guest Affairs Department, Etihad Airways;
Dear Mr. /Ms A
Thank you for writing to us. With regards to your query please be advised, that for guests entitled to travel in Coral Economy, two checked pieces of baggage (measured together) of which the sum of the greatest outside linear dimensions does not exceed 107 inches (273cm) provided that the outside linear dimensions of each bag does not exceed 62 inches (158cm) and provided the weight of each bag does not exceed 50 Ib (23 kg).
We look forward to welcoming you on board Etihad Airways, and wish you a pleasant journey.
Yours Sincerely,
And this is boi to me:
It's 23 kg each. Bring all shoes :)
A
and you guys, the world is a happy,peaceful place again.
ps: am very aware how silly i sound. but oh,to be silly again.
Dear Mr. /Ms A
Thank you for writing to us. With regards to your query please be advised, that for guests entitled to travel in Coral Economy, two checked pieces of baggage (measured together) of which the sum of the greatest outside linear dimensions does not exceed 107 inches (273cm) provided that the outside linear dimensions of each bag does not exceed 62 inches (158cm) and provided the weight of each bag does not exceed 50 Ib (23 kg).
We look forward to welcoming you on board Etihad Airways, and wish you a pleasant journey.
Yours Sincerely,
And this is boi to me:
It's 23 kg each. Bring all shoes :)
A
and you guys, the world is a happy,peaceful place again.
ps: am very aware how silly i sound. but oh,to be silly again.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Little grey area
He is such a black or white kind of guy. sometimes oblivious to the obvious but the saving grace is if you point it out he will go with some amount of wonder "how did i miss that!"
almost always willing to reconsider and when wrong agreeable to admitting it and to make up :)
The one annoying thing is sometimes he will harp on about the same thing. he will explain about say "x" in great detail giving me no time or even space to even venture that yes am aware what x is!
and when finally i get a word in he will say "oh so you knew!"
He will plan in great detail, going over every agonizing detail and will want to make me plan whereas i would rather check and read and then go and figure things as and when.
of course all that planning helps and its wonderful to not have to worry about a thing but then if something goes wrong in these well laid out plans there is too much worrying that i have to watch.
Sometimes he does this thing which mostly since over the phone so i dont really know what his face looks like then but i imagine it to be a kind of condescending-slightly innocent child like wonder.
for eg say there is this piece of information that i have no idea about but is a very commonly known piece of crap. ok malignancy apart so i wont know and instead of just telling me what it is he will go "what!!! you dont know!!hmm" and i ugh being the kind of person who hates being corrected over pronounciation and who thrives on little known facts from here and there will be all " uhm ugh yeah hmm ugh hmm"
sometimes i think of how adorable you are, the little things you do that make me smile when you are gone, like the mail you send me when i was asleep in the next room for me to read.The dinner you made and then very politely told me how good it would be if i would just stop with the zillion suggestions! The videos you made for me before we got married of the house and of the car and the many letters you have written me and it all makes up for all the trouble i had to get through before you finally made your appearance!
It goes without saying that you are so worth the wait..
Sometimes it occurs to me that i am married. it will hit me with all force that this is it. This is one person is been assigned to me and me,him.
This mostly happens when we havent talked for a bit. I am not a huge phone person, i like minimal conversation and except for the rare times we have spoken for hours and as much as i like it it works well only when like i mentioned,when its rare.
so then i miss him and then i remember him,more fondly than usual and then it occurs to me-hey am married!
and that kinda brings on a :)
Sometimes i dread this move that is coming up. I do like new places and new people. At one time i wanted to go to a city where i knew no one and start all over again. I even thought of changing my name but then i love my name too much,its a beautiful name.
it wont be like that of course,but so much is going to change and will change and the only reason i know i can do it without too many hassles is only because of you.
Because you make every day easier for me, you never let me down when i need you the most and you always make me laugh and i couldnt possibly think of anyone better suited for me to start this life with.
almost always willing to reconsider and when wrong agreeable to admitting it and to make up :)
The one annoying thing is sometimes he will harp on about the same thing. he will explain about say "x" in great detail giving me no time or even space to even venture that yes am aware what x is!
and when finally i get a word in he will say "oh so you knew!"
He will plan in great detail, going over every agonizing detail and will want to make me plan whereas i would rather check and read and then go and figure things as and when.
of course all that planning helps and its wonderful to not have to worry about a thing but then if something goes wrong in these well laid out plans there is too much worrying that i have to watch.
Sometimes he does this thing which mostly since over the phone so i dont really know what his face looks like then but i imagine it to be a kind of condescending-slightly innocent child like wonder.
for eg say there is this piece of information that i have no idea about but is a very commonly known piece of crap. ok malignancy apart so i wont know and instead of just telling me what it is he will go "what!!! you dont know!!hmm" and i ugh being the kind of person who hates being corrected over pronounciation and who thrives on little known facts from here and there will be all " uhm ugh yeah hmm ugh hmm"
sometimes i think of how adorable you are, the little things you do that make me smile when you are gone, like the mail you send me when i was asleep in the next room for me to read.The dinner you made and then very politely told me how good it would be if i would just stop with the zillion suggestions! The videos you made for me before we got married of the house and of the car and the many letters you have written me and it all makes up for all the trouble i had to get through before you finally made your appearance!
It goes without saying that you are so worth the wait..
Sometimes it occurs to me that i am married. it will hit me with all force that this is it. This is one person is been assigned to me and me,him.
This mostly happens when we havent talked for a bit. I am not a huge phone person, i like minimal conversation and except for the rare times we have spoken for hours and as much as i like it it works well only when like i mentioned,when its rare.
so then i miss him and then i remember him,more fondly than usual and then it occurs to me-hey am married!
and that kinda brings on a :)
Sometimes i dread this move that is coming up. I do like new places and new people. At one time i wanted to go to a city where i knew no one and start all over again. I even thought of changing my name but then i love my name too much,its a beautiful name.
it wont be like that of course,but so much is going to change and will change and the only reason i know i can do it without too many hassles is only because of you.
Because you make every day easier for me, you never let me down when i need you the most and you always make me laugh and i couldnt possibly think of anyone better suited for me to start this life with.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Of First kisses
It feels like for ever since i saw him and its been only a month and there is still two months to go.
i remember seeing him for the first time, i obviously got there earlier, i am always early thus giving me enough time to preen into mirrors and practise how i would be sitting when he walks in.
first i chose a place from where i could see him come in, then i moved.back to window. i am not really sure why though. i take all magazines available,maybe the waiter sensed the nervousness cos he asked if id rather wait to order. i say yes.
surprisingly some article got my attention which is amazing considering am on needles, and i was slightly lost when he finally came in. and, suddenly there he was dimple and all smiling right in front of me.
white shirt,glasses a bag..and he hugged me and i thinking he was about to kiss me leaned forward and he dint! mortification.
but he catches on quickly and there was the quick peck. a first kiss.
i remember seeing him for the first time, i obviously got there earlier, i am always early thus giving me enough time to preen into mirrors and practise how i would be sitting when he walks in.
first i chose a place from where i could see him come in, then i moved.back to window. i am not really sure why though. i take all magazines available,maybe the waiter sensed the nervousness cos he asked if id rather wait to order. i say yes.
surprisingly some article got my attention which is amazing considering am on needles, and i was slightly lost when he finally came in. and, suddenly there he was dimple and all smiling right in front of me.
white shirt,glasses a bag..and he hugged me and i thinking he was about to kiss me leaned forward and he dint! mortification.
but he catches on quickly and there was the quick peck. a first kiss.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
A Weeks Worth
and he is gone again and am back to married bachelor status. you could almost say am getting used to it, mainly because its about to end and am going to live with a boi!
well there is still time to get used to that one.
the week was perfect, almost.
the boi came for my birthday, he made dinner,beef stroganoff and whisky and we took a shower and we fought and went to bed.
but being the people who we are and since going to bed in a fit of anger is something we arent still used to, we made up and dinner was at 2 in the morning.
so many words and sorry's and we woke up and the we,we are familiar with was back.
romantic movies back to back though he did fall asleep towards the end of two weeks notice and here is my answer: you are the voice in my head. almost always.
live music just the way you like it, a drunk me on your hands and photos taken by kind strangers are my last memories.
almost beat you at bowling and made you wait while i got my hair done,let you take care of me when i sprained my back and the chocolate mousse you never finished.
there must be more, but here is to a week and a perfect one that too.
now i will go back to missing you.
well there is still time to get used to that one.
the week was perfect, almost.
the boi came for my birthday, he made dinner,beef stroganoff and whisky and we took a shower and we fought and went to bed.
but being the people who we are and since going to bed in a fit of anger is something we arent still used to, we made up and dinner was at 2 in the morning.
so many words and sorry's and we woke up and the we,we are familiar with was back.
romantic movies back to back though he did fall asleep towards the end of two weeks notice and here is my answer: you are the voice in my head. almost always.
live music just the way you like it, a drunk me on your hands and photos taken by kind strangers are my last memories.
almost beat you at bowling and made you wait while i got my hair done,let you take care of me when i sprained my back and the chocolate mousse you never finished.
there must be more, but here is to a week and a perfect one that too.
now i will go back to missing you.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Some Words,A Few Lines,Some Rhymes
Look at us..me and you,so young. me thinking it will all be little allright if i just plan well and that if some of it goes according to plan we'd be good. you,thinking we have it all, two people making an effort, in the right place. together we think this is the real deal.
girl friends ask me how i know. but,hey that is the deal. i dont.
i dont know if we will stick to each other for something termed eternity cos for one i find it hard to believe in such a word. i dont know which one of us could collapse. but il tell you this much, today in this moment i couldnt see me with anyone else. its not even a question of comparison because noone measures up but more importantly am not measuring.
i wanted a boi,who would write me long letters. who thinks the mall is indeed a tacky first date place! who lets me beat myself up without finding it necessary to intervene . someone who could be himself,down to every last embarrasing detail. confessions,compulsions nothing would drive this person away.
and that is simply what i found in you.
girl friends ask me how i know. but,hey that is the deal. i dont.
i dont know if we will stick to each other for something termed eternity cos for one i find it hard to believe in such a word. i dont know which one of us could collapse. but il tell you this much, today in this moment i couldnt see me with anyone else. its not even a question of comparison because noone measures up but more importantly am not measuring.
i wanted a boi,who would write me long letters. who thinks the mall is indeed a tacky first date place! who lets me beat myself up without finding it necessary to intervene . someone who could be himself,down to every last embarrasing detail. confessions,compulsions nothing would drive this person away.
and that is simply what i found in you.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
One wish
So amongst many other things, the boi and i kept reminiscising, like teachers and stupid unit tests. since we went to the same school for a bit we had some shared ground though he was a strapping young bloke if i may say so by the time i even got to my i-have-crushes-now stage.
we were even on the same khokho team. yeah if you dont know this game its fine,dont even bother.
so amongst all this,there was the whole what books we loved discussion, and we came and halted on sherlock holmes, you see we both had thos entire collection series. that one big fat book with all the stories! we kept talking about what was our favorite story. trying so hard to remember ( though that could have been just me)
i am not sure if am imagining it but was there this story about a boy with a yellow face..? anyway something so and the speckled band were my favorites. and his was the solitary cyclist which i honestly dont remember. and at the end of the book i think there was the ultimate treat for all who had made it till there! the hound of baskervilles.
anyway mu point is am dying,positively dying to go back and get my volume and read em up again..mine is in bad shape though,all tattered and worn out from repeated handling. i think someone borrowed it for a while, i know i had some trouble getting it back.
but the main reason i think i loved the book was it was such a welcome distraction,in a very boring sad life.. there was much novelty associated with coming back from school, finishing of a quick lunch and then sitting up on the terrace on this old blanket, it was june too when i got it first, and till date its the best rainy day book.i remember,carefully reading it so as to not finish the book too fast.
in all honesty i never guessed even one little mystery!
ps: i dont know why am dreading watching the series and watching the jude law-downey movie.
the sherlock in my head might have by now attained unreachable proportions.maybe i should see at least one episode.
i dont even like jude law..
we were even on the same khokho team. yeah if you dont know this game its fine,dont even bother.
so amongst all this,there was the whole what books we loved discussion, and we came and halted on sherlock holmes, you see we both had thos entire collection series. that one big fat book with all the stories! we kept talking about what was our favorite story. trying so hard to remember ( though that could have been just me)
i am not sure if am imagining it but was there this story about a boy with a yellow face..? anyway something so and the speckled band were my favorites. and his was the solitary cyclist which i honestly dont remember. and at the end of the book i think there was the ultimate treat for all who had made it till there! the hound of baskervilles.
anyway mu point is am dying,positively dying to go back and get my volume and read em up again..mine is in bad shape though,all tattered and worn out from repeated handling. i think someone borrowed it for a while, i know i had some trouble getting it back.
but the main reason i think i loved the book was it was such a welcome distraction,in a very boring sad life.. there was much novelty associated with coming back from school, finishing of a quick lunch and then sitting up on the terrace on this old blanket, it was june too when i got it first, and till date its the best rainy day book.i remember,carefully reading it so as to not finish the book too fast.
in all honesty i never guessed even one little mystery!
ps: i dont know why am dreading watching the series and watching the jude law-downey movie.
the sherlock in my head might have by now attained unreachable proportions.maybe i should see at least one episode.
i dont even like jude law..
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Two and Two make five
So this whole freelancing thing ( i lost my real job,they said they would get me a visa,i tell them i am leaving in march,so they dont) is getting on my nerves now. i realise how annoying it must be to people when i screen calls! yeah,enlightment usually hits me,when i am served the same treatment. anyway,so people dont pick up,return calls,they make you call wait and while you are tapping your toes they get back and say they will be right with you.
this i have come to notice is basically never.
after that rant i feel better. so il drone on a little more, so the new article is on emergency contraceptive pills, somehow its slightly pointless considering how this country refuses to sell any! exercising options is one big crime around in these parts. but since its a womens magazine lets hope someone reads it. the 2nd article for the other non-read magazine is on bonded labourers getting not even one day off in a week.
now my common sense tells me not to bother as these asseholes have this whole ostrich mentality going on, i have just sort-of discussed this with the editor man,as always i doubt if he paid any attention.
you know what i have come to notice? if i go in there with my hair all shiny and straight? and suit up, he looks at me more and even smiles and nods. but when i turn up my natural curly haired self in loose pants,undone eyebrows and other pathetic details, he put me through two long phone calls where he barked lots of bengali-i think at wife? yeah. what could this mean?
call me paranoid if you will.
lastly but wonderfully i saw love song for bobby long. finally. and i love travolta. yes i do. i was never a fan not even pulp fiction annnnd you have a convert.scarlett.j is ok.
i was most envious when the teacher assistant guy whose name i forget kept getting all names right, when travolta kept quoting lines from all sortsa books. i got a couple of ben franklin's but that was it.
other than all this il blog a little about the boi, the husband!
its wonderful this whole "Taken" feeling,but even so its still ever so hard to say "this is my husband"! i feel so odd, i feel the words roll off my tongue and i almost want to catch myself before they are out in the open,naked and shivering and,you get what i am saying right..
anyway, so this husband of mine has some wonderfully annoying habits,one of which involves the perennial leaving open bathroom doors and light on.
and with that i have come to realise what it means to be told "yeah sure i can do that" and then bam. wide,open staring doors!
there is more
he has to reach every single place early. now beleive me when i say,i take very less time getting ready,max 10minutes if you want a ball park,and i do like getting there ahead.
but,i dont want to be ahead,ahead and park my ass there for a few hours. and no i do not want to use this ass parked time to catch up on my reading or music! thats what i was doing before you dumped me here.
now what i would like on the other hand is this: for eg, we are at a bar, and its crowded, we are done. i am most uncomfortable,sitting around making small conversation especially when there are people eyeing my table.
if we are done, lets just get out! now this, he doesnt feel any discomfort doing,on the other hand, he has a problem making guides and other random men wait for us,while we are getting ready.
there could be some more i am missing. but later. i am off to see iris and read the rest of my wally lamb.so this is my update for now. if anyone is even reading ie.
such joy writing all that down!
this i have come to notice is basically never.
after that rant i feel better. so il drone on a little more, so the new article is on emergency contraceptive pills, somehow its slightly pointless considering how this country refuses to sell any! exercising options is one big crime around in these parts. but since its a womens magazine lets hope someone reads it. the 2nd article for the other non-read magazine is on bonded labourers getting not even one day off in a week.
now my common sense tells me not to bother as these asseholes have this whole ostrich mentality going on, i have just sort-of discussed this with the editor man,as always i doubt if he paid any attention.
you know what i have come to notice? if i go in there with my hair all shiny and straight? and suit up, he looks at me more and even smiles and nods. but when i turn up my natural curly haired self in loose pants,undone eyebrows and other pathetic details, he put me through two long phone calls where he barked lots of bengali-i think at wife? yeah. what could this mean?
call me paranoid if you will.
lastly but wonderfully i saw love song for bobby long. finally. and i love travolta. yes i do. i was never a fan not even pulp fiction annnnd you have a convert.scarlett.j is ok.
i was most envious when the teacher assistant guy whose name i forget kept getting all names right, when travolta kept quoting lines from all sortsa books. i got a couple of ben franklin's but that was it.
other than all this il blog a little about the boi, the husband!
its wonderful this whole "Taken" feeling,but even so its still ever so hard to say "this is my husband"! i feel so odd, i feel the words roll off my tongue and i almost want to catch myself before they are out in the open,naked and shivering and,you get what i am saying right..
anyway, so this husband of mine has some wonderfully annoying habits,one of which involves the perennial leaving open bathroom doors and light on.
and with that i have come to realise what it means to be told "yeah sure i can do that" and then bam. wide,open staring doors!
there is more
he has to reach every single place early. now beleive me when i say,i take very less time getting ready,max 10minutes if you want a ball park,and i do like getting there ahead.
but,i dont want to be ahead,ahead and park my ass there for a few hours. and no i do not want to use this ass parked time to catch up on my reading or music! thats what i was doing before you dumped me here.
now what i would like on the other hand is this: for eg, we are at a bar, and its crowded, we are done. i am most uncomfortable,sitting around making small conversation especially when there are people eyeing my table.
if we are done, lets just get out! now this, he doesnt feel any discomfort doing,on the other hand, he has a problem making guides and other random men wait for us,while we are getting ready.
there could be some more i am missing. but later. i am off to see iris and read the rest of my wally lamb.so this is my update for now. if anyone is even reading ie.
such joy writing all that down!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A christmas wedding
Allright everyone,i am done throwing me all these pity parties. its fine! so he is gone for a little while and am here alone. so what right? february isnt even a real month.
lets just get on with it. i mean me.
so what did i miss. yes the big happening famously referred to as the wedding and such.
i so dont feel like blogging about it,but if i dont do it now,it will never get done and i dont want to come back few years later,trying to remember,squint my eyes and think of small details i missed.
so here we go.
i married a friend. who i liked for a long period of time while he went about dating pyschos. i wished he was in my immediate radius,diameter whatever and not on another bledy continent.
lets see how long its been-about 3 and a half years.
when we finally got together after all our ego and hiccups and notions and other trivial things like once-bitten-twice-shy, and the big whooping question was asked,like this yeah,when we finally circled all that and arrived together and found out that oh-thank god we are in the same place.well then, he asked me this.
i remember being slightly drunk,celebrating some nonsense,at a place me and finicky had discovered which had happy hours even beyond 7 in the evening.
so they had this system where this guy would flip you for it. heads/tails.i got it wrong the first so we just had to do it again annnd whaddya know.
we got it right.right and then right again. finicky was a good sport. with a great sense of surroundings she got us to the bus picking point,answered all questions directed my way and put me in bed.
so this particular day our boi chose to ask,when i wanted to get married. and i said a december.a nice cold december.well serves me just right then. see while ansewering such questions you need to consider many external factors like for eg-the place you are from and such.
i am from kerala. we.we. we are from kerala. its we now.remember?
so kerala has no real concept of december and cold. what do they know.
my parents also vouched for this, they said "since its december,it will pretty good, it wont be so hot with all these people in the same room"
i nodded thinking "smart move girl"
so trust me. there is no such thing as cold december there. anyhoo moving on,so we fixed a date for december 25th. christmas you see. we aim at making our lives a little easier from the start. he has a wonderful memory problem, which in all honesty hasnt displayed itself in forgetting anniversaries.but well,on the other hand its really not like it matters, am not huge on dates,its pretty good if we remember but allright too otherwise.
but if he manages to forget this one. well. we must be in real bad shape then.
so he arrives a week before, i had no time to wallow around in pleasant thoughts and "oh he is coming" feelings. what am i doing? i am getting curtains for my dads room, cos somehow he and his wife remembered to strip them down but not buy new ones.
so i try saying "hey its not like he is going to be inspecting our house" to which they say "um ummm but what if he wants to go to the loo or so?"
and i say "ummm umm so he will use mine"
yeah so that dint go well.i went to buy curtains!
and by the time i was back there was no time to barely comb my hair or go into a oh what do i wear dilemma.
so in a way it was a good thing. i hate last minute decisions esp about clothes.
so he came in, wearing this white shirt and blue jeans and looking every bit like how i remembered him last.
there was small talk where we nodded and grinned. in mallu households however progressive, you dont just jump and hug and latch on to the boys arm,though that is all i thought about.
we exchanged pleasantries (wtf) and proceeded to have lunch.
where there was even bigger confusion. you see, there is something about my family and his or i dont know if it is some common infection,where nobody will sit down first to eat.
there will be polite "please sit" from one father and everyone just smiles dumb and stands around. there will be a second invitation,collectively from father and mother and there will be response of chairs being moved around and people shifting their feet,smiling and nodding at each other.
but NO ONE WILL SIT.
the third one is like a chorus, with even me chipping in. so finally some one sat down! god bless his soul.
then everyone mumble and jumble about where to fit everyone in, there will be a lot of yeah you come here, go there,no dont put him under the staircase, oh thats too far,sit here!!
for heavens sake,its one of those turn around tables with everything sitting ready all you got to do is spin!
but no.
then we launch into our "please eat more,you have had nothing and YOU,YOU havent even touched the fish-chicken-mutton whatever. this is probably after everyone's second helpings and secret burps.
and finally when you think you are done,saved, barely able to get up sort of situation and you are thinking maybe now i can get the boi alone.
but no.
he is in the male custody and am in the female company,respectively discussing the american educational system as opposed to indian and here we have, is all the gold bought,from where,rising gold price situation.
i realise they all have enough information amongst them to actually write an essay on whatever they are discussing.
my mother who i now drag into a corner is threatened with vile consequences if she doesnt somehow say something and get me my boi. she only laughs and slips away.
finally its time for them to leave and i am invited to go along,to check our hall. i sit with the ladies and we are finaly dropped of.
and we kiss on the stairs like two hungry famished people. how ironical.
in all fairness logic prevails and they let us be.and in a week,its the day.
i wont go into mehendi and other previous night activities.
25th morning dawned surprisingly cool and breezy.
The temple fuction was scheduled for 7oclock and my beautician woman had said it would take about an hour and a little. When I came down ready and armed I see that the mother and sister are engaged in a verbal combat. I say to myself: that’s fine! Today of all days I will not let anything bug me.
They proceed to sit in different corners of the same room,inspecting their respective jewellery seemingly oblivious to the fact that its 6 already!
So well I lost my resolve and the three of us went back to what we knew best,yell and cry and scream and we were finally at the gate when an anxious comes running to ask how long will all these parlor-warlor take.
We say an hour I guess.he looks at his watch and us and launches in to a narrative about time management. Adding his favorite: procrastination is the thief of time.
Remember my il be cool-calm-reserved-composed person? Yeah by now I know it doesn’t and will never work that way with my family.
Ps : we almost knocked over an early morning devotee ambling along and crossing the road without looking at either sides.
At the parlor, the lady whined a bit about how she was there since 5 30 in the morning. Then there was you go first,its your day lines from the sister,and so I did. By the time I was done it was 7. And she was nowhere. You should know that the father was not wasting time that one hour,he engaged himself in the fun task of dialing and re dialing and hitting the speed dial 3 constantly till we finally put it on silent mode and ignored him.
The sister looked shell shocked at what was happening to her,more importantly her hair,which for the oddest reason she had decided to oil that morning. More yelling about “I look ugly and who will look at me” ensued where upon the mother cut in saying “its ok.no one is looking for you anyway,she is the one getting married” where upon I went on to say how that was rude and uncalled for, and my sister declared she wasn’t talking to anyone and the mother weeped imaginary tears about ungrateful daughters and how she will never ever take sides again.
The phone is grabbed,sarees held with great care,tears wiped and we reach the temple. And I see the boi at the entrance craning his neck,smiling and its all better again. I start to walk really fast when the videographers pounce on me, muttering about the importance of arriving as a family!
I wait for my slightly annoying but always there support system who look at me proudly like I just accomplished something big and the sister who is always a call away who has forgotten all hair problems say :hey! Its finally the day!
And I got married.
Ps: there is tons more. How I panicked at the very moment and thus in the pictures look very constipated, how the boi was made to stand in different angles and pose, how my earrings hurt so much I had to take them off ,how we kept looking at each other thinking we made it finally..
pps:special thanks to p and p for making it and finicky and my baby who was absolutely the most happy person around who even wanted to shout n whistle!
lets just get on with it. i mean me.
so what did i miss. yes the big happening famously referred to as the wedding and such.
i so dont feel like blogging about it,but if i dont do it now,it will never get done and i dont want to come back few years later,trying to remember,squint my eyes and think of small details i missed.
so here we go.
i married a friend. who i liked for a long period of time while he went about dating pyschos. i wished he was in my immediate radius,diameter whatever and not on another bledy continent.
lets see how long its been-about 3 and a half years.
when we finally got together after all our ego and hiccups and notions and other trivial things like once-bitten-twice-shy, and the big whooping question was asked,like this yeah,when we finally circled all that and arrived together and found out that oh-thank god we are in the same place.well then, he asked me this.
i remember being slightly drunk,celebrating some nonsense,at a place me and finicky had discovered which had happy hours even beyond 7 in the evening.
so they had this system where this guy would flip you for it. heads/tails.i got it wrong the first so we just had to do it again annnd whaddya know.
we got it right.right and then right again. finicky was a good sport. with a great sense of surroundings she got us to the bus picking point,answered all questions directed my way and put me in bed.
so this particular day our boi chose to ask,when i wanted to get married. and i said a december.a nice cold december.well serves me just right then. see while ansewering such questions you need to consider many external factors like for eg-the place you are from and such.
i am from kerala. we.we. we are from kerala. its we now.remember?
so kerala has no real concept of december and cold. what do they know.
my parents also vouched for this, they said "since its december,it will pretty good, it wont be so hot with all these people in the same room"
i nodded thinking "smart move girl"
so trust me. there is no such thing as cold december there. anyhoo moving on,so we fixed a date for december 25th. christmas you see. we aim at making our lives a little easier from the start. he has a wonderful memory problem, which in all honesty hasnt displayed itself in forgetting anniversaries.but well,on the other hand its really not like it matters, am not huge on dates,its pretty good if we remember but allright too otherwise.
but if he manages to forget this one. well. we must be in real bad shape then.
so he arrives a week before, i had no time to wallow around in pleasant thoughts and "oh he is coming" feelings. what am i doing? i am getting curtains for my dads room, cos somehow he and his wife remembered to strip them down but not buy new ones.
so i try saying "hey its not like he is going to be inspecting our house" to which they say "um ummm but what if he wants to go to the loo or so?"
and i say "ummm umm so he will use mine"
yeah so that dint go well.i went to buy curtains!
and by the time i was back there was no time to barely comb my hair or go into a oh what do i wear dilemma.
so in a way it was a good thing. i hate last minute decisions esp about clothes.
so he came in, wearing this white shirt and blue jeans and looking every bit like how i remembered him last.
there was small talk where we nodded and grinned. in mallu households however progressive, you dont just jump and hug and latch on to the boys arm,though that is all i thought about.
we exchanged pleasantries (wtf) and proceeded to have lunch.
where there was even bigger confusion. you see, there is something about my family and his or i dont know if it is some common infection,where nobody will sit down first to eat.
there will be polite "please sit" from one father and everyone just smiles dumb and stands around. there will be a second invitation,collectively from father and mother and there will be response of chairs being moved around and people shifting their feet,smiling and nodding at each other.
but NO ONE WILL SIT.
the third one is like a chorus, with even me chipping in. so finally some one sat down! god bless his soul.
then everyone mumble and jumble about where to fit everyone in, there will be a lot of yeah you come here, go there,no dont put him under the staircase, oh thats too far,sit here!!
for heavens sake,its one of those turn around tables with everything sitting ready all you got to do is spin!
but no.
then we launch into our "please eat more,you have had nothing and YOU,YOU havent even touched the fish-chicken-mutton whatever. this is probably after everyone's second helpings and secret burps.
and finally when you think you are done,saved, barely able to get up sort of situation and you are thinking maybe now i can get the boi alone.
but no.
he is in the male custody and am in the female company,respectively discussing the american educational system as opposed to indian and here we have, is all the gold bought,from where,rising gold price situation.
i realise they all have enough information amongst them to actually write an essay on whatever they are discussing.
my mother who i now drag into a corner is threatened with vile consequences if she doesnt somehow say something and get me my boi. she only laughs and slips away.
finally its time for them to leave and i am invited to go along,to check our hall. i sit with the ladies and we are finaly dropped of.
and we kiss on the stairs like two hungry famished people. how ironical.
in all fairness logic prevails and they let us be.and in a week,its the day.
i wont go into mehendi and other previous night activities.
25th morning dawned surprisingly cool and breezy.
The temple fuction was scheduled for 7oclock and my beautician woman had said it would take about an hour and a little. When I came down ready and armed I see that the mother and sister are engaged in a verbal combat. I say to myself: that’s fine! Today of all days I will not let anything bug me.
They proceed to sit in different corners of the same room,inspecting their respective jewellery seemingly oblivious to the fact that its 6 already!
So well I lost my resolve and the three of us went back to what we knew best,yell and cry and scream and we were finally at the gate when an anxious comes running to ask how long will all these parlor-warlor take.
We say an hour I guess.he looks at his watch and us and launches in to a narrative about time management. Adding his favorite: procrastination is the thief of time.
Remember my il be cool-calm-reserved-composed person? Yeah by now I know it doesn’t and will never work that way with my family.
Ps : we almost knocked over an early morning devotee ambling along and crossing the road without looking at either sides.
At the parlor, the lady whined a bit about how she was there since 5 30 in the morning. Then there was you go first,its your day lines from the sister,and so I did. By the time I was done it was 7. And she was nowhere. You should know that the father was not wasting time that one hour,he engaged himself in the fun task of dialing and re dialing and hitting the speed dial 3 constantly till we finally put it on silent mode and ignored him.
The sister looked shell shocked at what was happening to her,more importantly her hair,which for the oddest reason she had decided to oil that morning. More yelling about “I look ugly and who will look at me” ensued where upon the mother cut in saying “its ok.no one is looking for you anyway,she is the one getting married” where upon I went on to say how that was rude and uncalled for, and my sister declared she wasn’t talking to anyone and the mother weeped imaginary tears about ungrateful daughters and how she will never ever take sides again.
The phone is grabbed,sarees held with great care,tears wiped and we reach the temple. And I see the boi at the entrance craning his neck,smiling and its all better again. I start to walk really fast when the videographers pounce on me, muttering about the importance of arriving as a family!
I wait for my slightly annoying but always there support system who look at me proudly like I just accomplished something big and the sister who is always a call away who has forgotten all hair problems say :hey! Its finally the day!
And I got married.
Ps: there is tons more. How I panicked at the very moment and thus in the pictures look very constipated, how the boi was made to stand in different angles and pose, how my earrings hurt so much I had to take them off ,how we kept looking at each other thinking we made it finally..
pps:special thanks to p and p for making it and finicky and my baby who was absolutely the most happy person around who even wanted to shout n whistle!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Afterthoughts and Aftermaths
I am still in the place from where its easy to look back. where i am still able to say "yesterday this time" or "last week this day" we were here,there,doing this,that.
and that brings the warmth that i hope to stay under for as long as i can.
but soon that too will slip away from me. as hard as i try and hold on,il forget your face,its lines and frowns.
i will only be able to recollect how your eyes go small,crinkle up and your crows feet.
its no joke. nothing corny or romantic about it. i turn over at night and the hand that meets emptiness,curls up into a fist and then the twists and turns leave me nowhere.
in a very hopeless silly way i wish we hadnt let tiring smiles and done for days get in between us. i wish i hadnt stopped kissing and said goodnights. i wish i hadnt turned away from the crook of your arm and gone into my favorite sleep position.
"no fair" you thought. i guess i shouldnt have ignored when you even told me this, that this was your small piece of heaven.
i feel bad about the smallest things. like some things i told you which i am sure you brushed away and yet felt bad about. i knew and knew not.
pretensions we agreed wouldnt help,so we stuck to blatant honesty. painful.
we are great together. we can have in peace our share of silences.but today,just today i wish we hadnt. i wish we had stayed up and talked.
you remember just those two days of lunch, where we drank old monk and maybe it was that,or maybe the craving to know husbands and wives at different ages,we talked of tuition teachers,of girlfriends,made up,of marks low and failures small.
This is hard. i cant find a word to describe how hard. this constant tearing up and fighting it,is hard.
i have spaces in my head,mind and body where i look for your words,bites and affection.
i know you will be back and maybe this too i shall get used to. but in the process,i am finding it so hard to bring me back from each small journeys i make in my head.
i am worried il go back to being that person who finds phone conversations uncomfortable,who has nothing to say to you. and you,in your need to be the husband i want will not push it.
i hope we dont fall prey to perfection and the need to be mirror images.
i am muttering its ok in my head. till it rings and reverberates oddly.i hope its ok.
and that brings the warmth that i hope to stay under for as long as i can.
but soon that too will slip away from me. as hard as i try and hold on,il forget your face,its lines and frowns.
i will only be able to recollect how your eyes go small,crinkle up and your crows feet.
its no joke. nothing corny or romantic about it. i turn over at night and the hand that meets emptiness,curls up into a fist and then the twists and turns leave me nowhere.
in a very hopeless silly way i wish we hadnt let tiring smiles and done for days get in between us. i wish i hadnt stopped kissing and said goodnights. i wish i hadnt turned away from the crook of your arm and gone into my favorite sleep position.
"no fair" you thought. i guess i shouldnt have ignored when you even told me this, that this was your small piece of heaven.
i feel bad about the smallest things. like some things i told you which i am sure you brushed away and yet felt bad about. i knew and knew not.
pretensions we agreed wouldnt help,so we stuck to blatant honesty. painful.
we are great together. we can have in peace our share of silences.but today,just today i wish we hadnt. i wish we had stayed up and talked.
you remember just those two days of lunch, where we drank old monk and maybe it was that,or maybe the craving to know husbands and wives at different ages,we talked of tuition teachers,of girlfriends,made up,of marks low and failures small.
This is hard. i cant find a word to describe how hard. this constant tearing up and fighting it,is hard.
i have spaces in my head,mind and body where i look for your words,bites and affection.
i know you will be back and maybe this too i shall get used to. but in the process,i am finding it so hard to bring me back from each small journeys i make in my head.
i am worried il go back to being that person who finds phone conversations uncomfortable,who has nothing to say to you. and you,in your need to be the husband i want will not push it.
i hope we dont fall prey to perfection and the need to be mirror images.
i am muttering its ok in my head. till it rings and reverberates oddly.i hope its ok.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
That time called getting hitched
So am getting married, i just got done sending out 70 emails to people who i once cared about,lost touch,are still friends, boyfriends of said friends, and so on.
i have the most wonderfuly sweet card as proclaimed by my people, all excellent.
now i just need to get home, lose weight, do some pre wedding making out, have boi pick out nice clothes for self and get married.
there is new tag coming,up.
like monica said "i am no longer a bride, just someone's wife" and chandler quips " and am that luck guy"
i so see that day!
not cribbing, its all great,but i am nt warming up really to the idea of being a married bachelor for another 6months hence.
two people not even on the same continent. perfect.
ok replies to emails are coming,more importantly delivery failed notices are pouring in! these people have gone and changed email id's and not let me know.
why am i calling them?
ans: cos i am sure 50% wont turn up due to emergencies popularly reffered to as boss,job,money and plain laziness.
now there is the added task,of going on Fb and finding proper id and then re mailing.
sigh.
it has already started! the painful uphill task.
being nice to people is so so very hard.
i have the most wonderfuly sweet card as proclaimed by my people, all excellent.
now i just need to get home, lose weight, do some pre wedding making out, have boi pick out nice clothes for self and get married.
there is new tag coming,up.
like monica said "i am no longer a bride, just someone's wife" and chandler quips " and am that luck guy"
i so see that day!
not cribbing, its all great,but i am nt warming up really to the idea of being a married bachelor for another 6months hence.
two people not even on the same continent. perfect.
ok replies to emails are coming,more importantly delivery failed notices are pouring in! these people have gone and changed email id's and not let me know.
why am i calling them?
ans: cos i am sure 50% wont turn up due to emergencies popularly reffered to as boss,job,money and plain laziness.
now there is the added task,of going on Fb and finding proper id and then re mailing.
sigh.
it has already started! the painful uphill task.
being nice to people is so so very hard.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A girl cant be pissed now
I dont remember feeling something strong enough ever to actually keep someone else's feelings or sentiments anything at all, before mine.
till date that is.
I guess i thought that there was this concept of balance that would even everything out at some point in each persons life.
so basicaly if i was a nasty bitch to you, then you get your turn too. well, not that callously but on similair lines.
is that what karma is?
so, now am in this wonderfully horrid place where even if i am pissed off i need to take a moment,stop,ponder and then find logical reasons to back up this guys lines which have to begin with annoyed me enough to not speak to him. i guess my usual half baked way of saying things is probably not being taken in the right way and plus most of my annoyance has this way of being built up to an unimaginable proportion, for eg this one thing which i can i guess let go, i have added other things to it and am making this bitter brew which i do desperately want to throw away but am clinging on and on for some unfathomble damned reason which i think i do know, but wont say.usualy, i have a very simple solution for all this. say my goodbyes, say its not you,its absolutely me ( some lines never go out of style) and leave, here we have no such options.
Now it would all be simple if i could just go back to being the old me.
but instead. here i am, sitting and considering how he would feel if i were to say something in my usual careless, sarcasm filled way.
Does anyone even understand how painful this is.
Dont tell me your stupid stories about adjustments and its accompanying crap. i dislike insensitiveness. if you ask me to rank, here, cheating, insensitive and clingy are issues i have a problem with.
now the reason i guess it should all be ok, is that this person is by and far a nice guy. lets say his niceities are tad higher than his vices.
so maybe that is what makes it ok.
i guess i truly understand what letting go means.
not so good.
till date that is.
I guess i thought that there was this concept of balance that would even everything out at some point in each persons life.
so basicaly if i was a nasty bitch to you, then you get your turn too. well, not that callously but on similair lines.
is that what karma is?
so, now am in this wonderfully horrid place where even if i am pissed off i need to take a moment,stop,ponder and then find logical reasons to back up this guys lines which have to begin with annoyed me enough to not speak to him. i guess my usual half baked way of saying things is probably not being taken in the right way and plus most of my annoyance has this way of being built up to an unimaginable proportion, for eg this one thing which i can i guess let go, i have added other things to it and am making this bitter brew which i do desperately want to throw away but am clinging on and on for some unfathomble damned reason which i think i do know, but wont say.usualy, i have a very simple solution for all this. say my goodbyes, say its not you,its absolutely me ( some lines never go out of style) and leave, here we have no such options.
Now it would all be simple if i could just go back to being the old me.
but instead. here i am, sitting and considering how he would feel if i were to say something in my usual careless, sarcasm filled way.
Does anyone even understand how painful this is.
Dont tell me your stupid stories about adjustments and its accompanying crap. i dislike insensitiveness. if you ask me to rank, here, cheating, insensitive and clingy are issues i have a problem with.
now the reason i guess it should all be ok, is that this person is by and far a nice guy. lets say his niceities are tad higher than his vices.
so maybe that is what makes it ok.
i guess i truly understand what letting go means.
not so good.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Re living the romance
Girl: let today be honesty day,let me tell u everything about you that pisses me off
Boi: ok
Girl: i hate it
Boi: you're a pessim: ist
Girl: jus HATE IT when u cll me sweet heart ok now u?
Boi: you're a pessimist, i hate that you think that life will go south for you after coming here
now u
Girl: i hate how u have to discuss every god damn thing fr like ever n EVER,like jus gt on with it already
Boi: hmm
Girl: u can be teribly rude, i dont mind
Boi: you change plans many times
Girl: we l forget this tomorrow or try ie
Boi: ok
Girl : i see
Boi: :)
Girl: :) you say too many sorrys!
Boi: haha. yeah
Girl: u dint come fr ur OWN engagement
Boi: whoa! I did!
Girl: ok dts 2 u well u know wt i mean
Boi: and you know what I mean
Girl: do i now
Boi: :)
Girl: do me do me, NO pun intended
Boi: sigh
Girl: cmon!! i must piss u off prety well!
Boi: I hate that you dont call nor you take my calls
Girl: :) i try, u always cl wen am of2 wrk or back frm on d way
I hate it dt u steal my blogs
Boi: I stopped!!
Girl: well, u did
Boi: I went and got my own!
Girl: good fr u, hury up, urrf
i must be pretty perfect for u2 take dis much time
ha
Boi: i hated your script writing plan because i was insanely jealous of that guy Girl: i prefer former ah yes,i hated that u were jealous and masking it
in this whole grunt,sigh thing wen you are jealous you are jealous!! end.
Boi: what was I supposed to do!!??
Girl: i duno!! u cnt ask me everyting
Boi: tell u not to do something you wanted! cuz am jealous!
Girl: ok think more
heres one, i dislike most of ur jokes cos fr one i dont gt it and 2. u pause expectin me 2 laugh
and thn i have 2 fake laugh and when i dont,U MAKE IT WORSE BY ASKING WHY AM NT
LAUGHING
Boi: I do not ask!!!!!
Girl: u do too
Boi: I
Girl: twice
Boi: DO
Girl: thrice i counted
Boi: NOT ask
Girl: uhm well
Boi: liar!
Girl: i win cos you wer drunk all 3 times
Boi: oh
Girl: its like drunk bad jokes damn!! ok me
Boi: I dont see what you see in calvin and hobbes they irritate the heck outta me one more?
Girl: sure
Boi: I hate the fact that you dont give my dressing sense any chance everything I get is dismissed even the most recent ones
Girl: i dnt say a word!! wt d F!!i just did not react!
Boi: I said am wearing what I bought to nats engagement and you said no
Girl: i dint say anytin
Boi: like plain and simple
Girl: u goaded me
Boi: you said no
Girl: after which i said no
Boi: admit! admit admit
Girl: ok fine ugh i did and damn u
Boi: good now me
Girl: ok. This mus be harsh anyway,i dislike ur funny tooth,You keep sayin ur brushing! whats with all d holes!
Boi: they're from before!! when i was a kid
Girl: y u discovered d brush recently?
ah i see
Boi: very funy :)
Girl: :) ok me
Boi: I think we'll stop
Girl: nooo NO no, this is the way to a healthy relationship..
Boi: Right!
Girl: and plus i know there are tons more fr me
Boi: ok we'll have to stop soon cu I have a meeting comeing up ok?
Girl: oh and damn ur meetings
Boi: yeah i hate when you say that I always leave when i leave for work classes meetings
when you leave I dont say a word
Girl: cos u dnt care enuf :P
Boi: haha ok me two more?
Girl: you are jus plain weird and i dislike ur obsession with ur need to clarify and re clarify
and make ur point n blah blah am hoping i never hav2 witness that.
Boi: ok fair enough
Girl: me
Boi: I think you're an idiot for not listening to me when it comes to anything about your health
no vitamin c,no drinking water always you fall sick
Girl: i drink enough just like you said
Boi: and you keep wondering why why
Girl: 2 make pee white sigh!!
Boi: ok me last one
Boi: i cant think of any ok wait
I thik you're highly arrogant, you forget how I sometimes do things for you and then you prick me for mistakes I made or stuff that I did
Girl: n oh i agree totally with arogant part but i louw u fr nt saying what the hell is she arrogant about which i hav heard all life
Boi: I love you,you amaze me with your love for your family and friends, your writing, your sensibility and your looks.
Girl: looks eh??
i love you cos u care enough to make all the right decisions for me,you dont stop and give up even when am at my worst behaviour, u wrote me 16 page letters. :)
and despite being horrid with dates,u always remember d 18th everymnth
Boi: :) now what?
Girl: arent u glad we did the horrid thing?
Boi: totally my ego is boosted
Girl: good fr u
Girl: go now?
Boi: yeah you sleep, i meeting
Girl: bye
Boi: ok
Girl: i hate it
Boi: you're a pessim: ist
Girl: jus HATE IT when u cll me sweet heart ok now u?
Boi: you're a pessimist, i hate that you think that life will go south for you after coming here
now u
Girl: i hate how u have to discuss every god damn thing fr like ever n EVER,like jus gt on with it already
Boi: hmm
Girl: u can be teribly rude, i dont mind
Boi: you change plans many times
Girl: we l forget this tomorrow or try ie
Boi: ok
Girl : i see
Boi: :)
Girl: :) you say too many sorrys!
Boi: haha. yeah
Girl: u dint come fr ur OWN engagement
Boi: whoa! I did!
Girl: ok dts 2 u well u know wt i mean
Boi: and you know what I mean
Girl: do i now
Boi: :)
Girl: do me do me, NO pun intended
Boi: sigh
Girl: cmon!! i must piss u off prety well!
Boi: I hate that you dont call nor you take my calls
Girl: :) i try, u always cl wen am of2 wrk or back frm on d way
I hate it dt u steal my blogs
Boi: I stopped!!
Girl: well, u did
Boi: I went and got my own!
Girl: good fr u, hury up, urrf
i must be pretty perfect for u2 take dis much time
ha
Boi: i hated your script writing plan because i was insanely jealous of that guy Girl: i prefer former ah yes,i hated that u were jealous and masking it
in this whole grunt,sigh thing wen you are jealous you are jealous!! end.
Boi: what was I supposed to do!!??
Girl: i duno!! u cnt ask me everyting
Boi: tell u not to do something you wanted! cuz am jealous!
Girl: ok think more
heres one, i dislike most of ur jokes cos fr one i dont gt it and 2. u pause expectin me 2 laugh
and thn i have 2 fake laugh and when i dont,U MAKE IT WORSE BY ASKING WHY AM NT
LAUGHING
Boi: I do not ask!!!!!
Girl: u do too
Boi: I
Girl: twice
Boi: DO
Girl: thrice i counted
Boi: NOT ask
Girl: uhm well
Boi: liar!
Girl: i win cos you wer drunk all 3 times
Boi: oh
Girl: its like drunk bad jokes damn!! ok me
Boi: I dont see what you see in calvin and hobbes they irritate the heck outta me one more?
Girl: sure
Boi: I hate the fact that you dont give my dressing sense any chance everything I get is dismissed even the most recent ones
Girl: i dnt say a word!! wt d F!!i just did not react!
Boi: I said am wearing what I bought to nats engagement and you said no
Girl: i dint say anytin
Boi: like plain and simple
Girl: u goaded me
Boi: you said no
Girl: after which i said no
Boi: admit! admit admit
Girl: ok fine ugh i did and damn u
Boi: good now me
Girl: ok. This mus be harsh anyway,i dislike ur funny tooth,You keep sayin ur brushing! whats with all d holes!
Boi: they're from before!! when i was a kid
Girl: y u discovered d brush recently?
ah i see
Boi: very funy :)
Girl: :) ok me
Boi: I think we'll stop
Girl: nooo NO no, this is the way to a healthy relationship..
Boi: Right!
Girl: and plus i know there are tons more fr me
Boi: ok we'll have to stop soon cu I have a meeting comeing up ok?
Girl: oh and damn ur meetings
Boi: yeah i hate when you say that I always leave when i leave for work classes meetings
when you leave I dont say a word
Girl: cos u dnt care enuf :P
Boi: haha ok me two more?
Girl: you are jus plain weird and i dislike ur obsession with ur need to clarify and re clarify
and make ur point n blah blah am hoping i never hav2 witness that.
Boi: ok fair enough
Girl: me
Boi: I think you're an idiot for not listening to me when it comes to anything about your health
no vitamin c,no drinking water always you fall sick
Girl: i drink enough just like you said
Boi: and you keep wondering why why
Girl: 2 make pee white sigh!!
Boi: ok me last one
Boi: i cant think of any ok wait
I thik you're highly arrogant, you forget how I sometimes do things for you and then you prick me for mistakes I made or stuff that I did
Girl: n oh i agree totally with arogant part but i louw u fr nt saying what the hell is she arrogant about which i hav heard all life
Boi: I love you,you amaze me with your love for your family and friends, your writing, your sensibility and your looks.
Girl: looks eh??
i love you cos u care enough to make all the right decisions for me,you dont stop and give up even when am at my worst behaviour, u wrote me 16 page letters. :)
and despite being horrid with dates,u always remember d 18th everymnth
Boi: :) now what?
Girl: arent u glad we did the horrid thing?
Boi: totally my ego is boosted
Girl: good fr u
Girl: go now?
Boi: yeah you sleep, i meeting
Girl: bye
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Happy Anniversary to me
So the boi is really bad with dates. he forgets a lot of birthdays, other peoples ie, he forgets my dads surprise thing but he did remember the anniversary and as part of the big anniv mail he signs of like this:
"Anyway, happy anniversary (once again). I'll take a rain check on making it special for you, if that's ok.
I love you
yours A"
And.
i found that amusing. the rain check part.
no wonder we are together.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
So much for Fairy tales
So although am taken and (happy) i still like being checked out and given the eye etc and i still like bois to ask me out, so that i can say no obviously and so on. you get the idea.
Nothing has been happening on that front since like the longest time, (read) a year almost and then, the other day one boi at work, let me mention here really cute bong boi, smiles at me from his desk and i smile back in confusion! and lower my eyes and proceed to feel extremely stupid and from the corner of my eye i see him scrape back his chair and i know he is coming over.
in my blushing bride confusion thing that i have going on i quickly open the fold of my phone and put it to my ear only to remember that it isnt on silent and could ring LOUDLY any second and i would never live that down. so i shut that and look away!
he comes over and asks me if am lost and i smile back,polite and distant, yeah i do that especially when i dont know you at all and even so more when you are a nice looking boi. anyway i say no am just waiting.
if i was single i tell you.
wait. i tell you what. i cant remember! this blows.
anyway he nods and then he left. i avoid the first floor area where i could run in to him, not cos of anything else as much as looking foolish.
so the point was. yes, i did have a point and i am not just rambling.
there seems to be a sudden spurt in the number of cute men am running into. why is this happening!
i remember when i was single, frustrated and looking they were all in hiding and now, they are slowly emerging from wherever they were huddled up.
at one point. a quite desperate alone point with lot of issues i remember looking everywhere, even through facebook friends friend lists! that is pretty desperate if you ask me.
at that point, i remember i was on the flight to city of study and at the airport i saw one nice looking boi. i sneak looks and i saw him do the same. aha
and then we proceed to look away in every other direction and when boarding happened he was right in front of me. the guy at the gate tells me i have no tag on my hand bags and i in vain try to convince him that i did! how else does he think i got till this gate point. so when i argue you see, i get very shrill. not good at all. and that starts to happen and i see cute boi look at me strangely.
i quickly stop and he announces "you shud just run and get it i can hold these fr u here"
a very glad and grinning me runs back and fro with huge enthusiasm filled with visions of flirting with cute boi and even somehow grab the seat next to him. somehow was the key word.
i come back and he flashes me the nicest smile and we move on in the line, me, muttering thanks etc and then ugh the longest gap happens and when that happens its hard to pick up again. you know what i mean. like say 15minutes pass and then i couldnt again come up with "so whats happening" and the only question in my head was " where you headed!!" which will make me look- "i will let each of you use whatever word suitable"
so i dont grab his seat or do anything. i settle in mine and drink icky lime water and continue to watch the top of his head bounce now and then.
when we got to the place, god, with his brilliant plans i say, put us in the same shared cab which eventualy we realise is not a cab but a mini van that goes on to drop everyone everywhere and finaly head to my area which is btw the local village and the cute boi announces that he is headed there too.
you would think that with all my attraction and by now heightened curiosity i would say something! anything to a boi who is the only one left in the damn van. but no. i too proud.
so the ipod comes out and his book comes out.
book in a van? puhlz.
( mentally said of course)
and then
finally. he says ' you work at *village?"
me: ( since he has said the first line, i am now friendly and un-arrogant) no i study at so and so. you?
he works near by at this I.T place. Right next door.
The romantic fool in me thinks maybe this boi is the boi, what with such a cute story and all.
the boi and i talk and we keep at it till the van man stops and grumbles. the boi helps me with all my heavy bags and boxes and then casualy asks me for my number which i then give him.
he waits for two days to text, i wait for 2 more to text back ( silly kids. i know)
and then we meet up and go drinking etc etc.
despite my obvious desperation it fails to click. i like boi.
but this heart thing doesnt really help me out here.it still kept waiting for our main boi, to change his mind and etc.
cute boi left place little later but we contd to stay in touch, he calls me when he drinks rum and coke and eats chicken wings and sends me photos.
he is quite the nice boi.
ps; there was no real point i see at the end of rambling.
Nothing has been happening on that front since like the longest time, (read) a year almost and then, the other day one boi at work, let me mention here really cute bong boi, smiles at me from his desk and i smile back in confusion! and lower my eyes and proceed to feel extremely stupid and from the corner of my eye i see him scrape back his chair and i know he is coming over.
in my blushing bride confusion thing that i have going on i quickly open the fold of my phone and put it to my ear only to remember that it isnt on silent and could ring LOUDLY any second and i would never live that down. so i shut that and look away!
he comes over and asks me if am lost and i smile back,polite and distant, yeah i do that especially when i dont know you at all and even so more when you are a nice looking boi. anyway i say no am just waiting.
if i was single i tell you.
wait. i tell you what. i cant remember! this blows.
anyway he nods and then he left. i avoid the first floor area where i could run in to him, not cos of anything else as much as looking foolish.
so the point was. yes, i did have a point and i am not just rambling.
there seems to be a sudden spurt in the number of cute men am running into. why is this happening!
i remember when i was single, frustrated and looking they were all in hiding and now, they are slowly emerging from wherever they were huddled up.
at one point. a quite desperate alone point with lot of issues i remember looking everywhere, even through facebook friends friend lists! that is pretty desperate if you ask me.
at that point, i remember i was on the flight to city of study and at the airport i saw one nice looking boi. i sneak looks and i saw him do the same. aha
and then we proceed to look away in every other direction and when boarding happened he was right in front of me. the guy at the gate tells me i have no tag on my hand bags and i in vain try to convince him that i did! how else does he think i got till this gate point. so when i argue you see, i get very shrill. not good at all. and that starts to happen and i see cute boi look at me strangely.
i quickly stop and he announces "you shud just run and get it i can hold these fr u here"
a very glad and grinning me runs back and fro with huge enthusiasm filled with visions of flirting with cute boi and even somehow grab the seat next to him. somehow was the key word.
i come back and he flashes me the nicest smile and we move on in the line, me, muttering thanks etc and then ugh the longest gap happens and when that happens its hard to pick up again. you know what i mean. like say 15minutes pass and then i couldnt again come up with "so whats happening" and the only question in my head was " where you headed!!" which will make me look- "i will let each of you use whatever word suitable"
so i dont grab his seat or do anything. i settle in mine and drink icky lime water and continue to watch the top of his head bounce now and then.
when we got to the place, god, with his brilliant plans i say, put us in the same shared cab which eventualy we realise is not a cab but a mini van that goes on to drop everyone everywhere and finaly head to my area which is btw the local village and the cute boi announces that he is headed there too.
you would think that with all my attraction and by now heightened curiosity i would say something! anything to a boi who is the only one left in the damn van. but no. i too proud.
so the ipod comes out and his book comes out.
book in a van? puhlz.
( mentally said of course)
and then
finally. he says ' you work at *village?"
me: ( since he has said the first line, i am now friendly and un-arrogant) no i study at so and so. you?
he works near by at this I.T place. Right next door.
The romantic fool in me thinks maybe this boi is the boi, what with such a cute story and all.
the boi and i talk and we keep at it till the van man stops and grumbles. the boi helps me with all my heavy bags and boxes and then casualy asks me for my number which i then give him.
he waits for two days to text, i wait for 2 more to text back ( silly kids. i know)
and then we meet up and go drinking etc etc.
despite my obvious desperation it fails to click. i like boi.
but this heart thing doesnt really help me out here.it still kept waiting for our main boi, to change his mind and etc.
cute boi left place little later but we contd to stay in touch, he calls me when he drinks rum and coke and eats chicken wings and sends me photos.
he is quite the nice boi.
ps; there was no real point i see at the end of rambling.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wine Away
sometimes? i cant beleive we happened.
that you are that guy and then i have to look at pictures,zoom in!, close attention to fingers, shirt collars,watch,dimples and then am back.
These days i forget your face and it annoys me so.
how can i forget your face..
i love your face.
but constant proof is tiring, i know its just a little more but this whining about it sort of makes it easier, you know how it is, the whole divert attention thing..
There is really nothing you could more. patience, attention, support, you do it all.
makes it harder.
am running out of things to complain about.
that you are that guy and then i have to look at pictures,zoom in!, close attention to fingers, shirt collars,watch,dimples and then am back.
These days i forget your face and it annoys me so.
how can i forget your face..
i love your face.
but constant proof is tiring, i know its just a little more but this whining about it sort of makes it easier, you know how it is, the whole divert attention thing..
There is really nothing you could more. patience, attention, support, you do it all.
makes it harder.
am running out of things to complain about.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Bend in the Road
I have missed my flight and am sittting here in the airport annoyed and too tired to fight. only here they close the gate 60minutes prior to departure,one WHOLE hour,but this shall also be a lesson to tone down my last minute waltzes into the airport.
This is a vent it out post. I am being a bore. an utter and complete bore.
I have always had this thing for reality, i cant buy or wear those rose glasses. but now am wishing it a little less. i like stability, less chances and risks. is that so bad? does that make me passion-less, i do want to help, contribute make a difference. but am also of the beleif that one person cant do so much, there should be allotment.
well if we all did our share the world would be a better place. right. and we dont want that. so i am happy with the small differences il make. i can adopt a baby, i can volunteer at the palliative unit at the cancer wards.
these are things that have a sure definite ending. i like to know results. in absolute terms. i like to hear that so and so has benefited. i really dont want to change mental make up s and change the way people think. thats not me. but i get it.
it could be you. but what if its not. what if u become one of those frustrated proffesors. i cant say that too can i? cos then it becomes about my craving and need for perfection.. i really want to be supportive of your choices, but when i know not for sure of course, but when i know how difficult it gets how can i willingly send you along.
i am not the big person. i dont have such a large heart. i am selfish and mean and i want to be happy at the end of the day.
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