So s.s and i are both online
and this:
S.swas a nice guy: is wrapping up the whole cat isssue
me: hello
heard u gn2 spain n all
:P
S.s: You need a subliminal retreat your imagination can run and hide in when the traffic is bad and when people are effortlessly rude. Spain in mine.
me: d efort it mus hav taken2 type all dt
S.s: is*
I didnt notice that till you pointed it out.
me: right
:)
how s d life
S.s: Its free.
Hows yours?
me: pretty good
:)
s.s: June is in bangalore..
I guess u know thta.
me: i know i jus talked2 her.
S.s: Hows her life?
me: sounds happpy
hope stays happy
S.s: This is great. We're a bunch of happy friends.
When are you done with yur course?
me: yaay lets go hav brunch jus us d bunch
ya am almos dne
march exams.
S.s: Then?
me: then what
no one seem2 wnt2 hand out jobs
S.s: Which city do you want to terrorise?
me: d blore city
or d delhi city
S.s: So its either me or P
me: p is d one am nt sure of
ugh
u am totly bankin on.
S.s: My doors are open and my fridge stocked.
me: dope?
S.s: Just bring the booze.
me: done deal.
S.s: Nope. off drugs for the next six months.
me: weed?
counted?
S.s: Next hit..Spain.
Yup.
But I know the best dealer in town.
me: great
u dnt smoke
S.s: I can fix you up.
me: let us d lesser mortals indulege
indulge
S.s: Only when emotionally blackmailed.
me: :)
cmin2 native land?nytym?'
S.s: No. I have my hands tied in INSERT *s.s 's place*
I need to make a whole lotta money in a very little time.
me: spain i presume
S.s: Like everybody else I know
me: cn i get in on dt?
i cud really use soem cash
!
s.s: Yeah. Cos She'll also be flying down. being romantic calls for acces to huge amount of financial resources.
I could tell you, but you're an MBA student. You'll ahve to get rich climbing up the corporate ladder.
me: my needs r more dire
A is coming next month.and then id like him to come again sooner
so give it to me,il give it to him
my reason better?
S.s: getting married? to A?
me : :)
S.s: Where is he now?
me: he is yamerica
in
s.s: So this is the real deal?
Is he the Bee's Knees?
me: well i hav managed2 nt gt bored n be arnd
and i like him!
oh w8
louw him
so i guess yes
S.s: clap clap clap
whistle
me: standing ovation
in my honor
S.s: clap clap wooohooo clap
me: :)
S.s: i'm goin to get back to my mail now.
me: yeah
tada an t care.
S.s: Got to keep the passion alive
me: right
right
fuckin g tawk
n long mails.
S.s: You know how its with this long distance relationship..pssstt
me: bye honey.
S.s: Bye Cupcake
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Method to madness or madness is method
Alone time is a great concept.mostly greeted with strange looks,questions,and of course the pity statements
"why dont i come with you?"
i wish people would get that there is no life after pity and leave me alone.
people like me who have a problem saying no along with other problems like asking for things back or just asking end up agreeing
i love the whole freedom of being alone.
not having to ask "what wud you like to do"..not having to make forced conversation
what is it about vehicles that make people yap so much?
whenever am in the bus i like shutting up and music.which is immedietly welcomed with "hey whats wrong?"
or
the much not wanted " talk to me no?...."
ugh
and so i say some mundane lines about how its too sunny now and cold in the nights
or ask about resp boy friends which is a guaranteed conversation starter
only thing i dint want to
i always carry a book,no matter where i go.
always being the key word
so when i was just getting used to the whole alone thing id quickly open the book and etc etc
there was something about just sitting,watching people go by that needed getting used to
initially much earlier my young poor easily impressionable mind would go "who amongst that group yonder must be thinking am such a loser"
of course i have moved on from there and dont care anymore
but the book is still around
i can eat alone without sneaking glances at everyone around
without convincing myself that am the hottest topic in every table there
i can take long walks with just the ipod
i can sit on park benches and watch people take dogs around and talk and laugh
but as much as i like all of the abouve
there is this irritating need to connect
to put my ph on silent and then check every now n then if anyone has texted me
to sit on g tawk idle! n watch people log in. watching i see is huge with me!
constantly and constantly get up on fb and see status messages change. go see people put up more photos
stalk through scrap books,read meaningless blogs
see profile visitors number increasing.wonder who the people who read this drivel are
a fine balance needs to be achieved between the two
"why dont i come with you?"
i wish people would get that there is no life after pity and leave me alone.
people like me who have a problem saying no along with other problems like asking for things back or just asking end up agreeing
i love the whole freedom of being alone.
not having to ask "what wud you like to do"..not having to make forced conversation
what is it about vehicles that make people yap so much?
whenever am in the bus i like shutting up and music.which is immedietly welcomed with "hey whats wrong?"
or
the much not wanted " talk to me no?...."
ugh
and so i say some mundane lines about how its too sunny now and cold in the nights
or ask about resp boy friends which is a guaranteed conversation starter
only thing i dint want to
i always carry a book,no matter where i go.
always being the key word
so when i was just getting used to the whole alone thing id quickly open the book and etc etc
there was something about just sitting,watching people go by that needed getting used to
initially much earlier my young poor easily impressionable mind would go "who amongst that group yonder must be thinking am such a loser"
of course i have moved on from there and dont care anymore
but the book is still around
i can eat alone without sneaking glances at everyone around
without convincing myself that am the hottest topic in every table there
i can take long walks with just the ipod
i can sit on park benches and watch people take dogs around and talk and laugh
but as much as i like all of the abouve
there is this irritating need to connect
to put my ph on silent and then check every now n then if anyone has texted me
to sit on g tawk idle! n watch people log in. watching i see is huge with me!
constantly and constantly get up on fb and see status messages change. go see people put up more photos
stalk through scrap books,read meaningless blogs
see profile visitors number increasing.wonder who the people who read this drivel are
a fine balance needs to be achieved between the two
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Finicky
The first day i woke up to an empty third bed
with no finicky and her brownie..and i missed her.
she would wake up and say very sweetly "will you play one song please?"
and i would oblige gladly.
i miss her
with no finicky and her brownie..and i missed her.
she would wake up and say very sweetly "will you play one song please?"
and i would oblige gladly.
i miss her
Time
From "Big question,want to trade phone numbers"
to
"look good in december for the wedding"
A and i have come a long way in a short while.
interesting.
somewhere am not surprised that am with him.
it seems normal,natural like i knew him from before..you know how odd that is for me?
i had this unnatural commitment issue
i should really have been committed to some therapist,oh wait i did that too
but anyway it was just so irritating cos one part just wanted that whole stability thing and the other would do awful things to push who ever away.
recently one of them told me how horrible i was to him..so i do a quick recap and i am thinking n"what a jerk",
i was.
A was huge at one point to the extent that i had to get rid of him blinking away online
cos as soon as i see him up there id want to write something to him,get him talking.
and since we dont approve of cheating it was all just so confusing and bugging.
and now
some of my friends who havnt met him want to know what he s like. id like to just say "nice" and be done
but then that wouldnt be doing justice to this boi
so i explain and when i get to the wedding part they just look at me unbeleivingly if thats a word
one of them even said "till u are actually legaly married i wont buy this"
alright then
i dint explain further
was i that bad?
hmm
to
"look good in december for the wedding"
A and i have come a long way in a short while.
interesting.
somewhere am not surprised that am with him.
it seems normal,natural like i knew him from before..you know how odd that is for me?
i had this unnatural commitment issue
i should really have been committed to some therapist,oh wait i did that too
but anyway it was just so irritating cos one part just wanted that whole stability thing and the other would do awful things to push who ever away.
recently one of them told me how horrible i was to him..so i do a quick recap and i am thinking n"what a jerk",
i was.
A was huge at one point to the extent that i had to get rid of him blinking away online
cos as soon as i see him up there id want to write something to him,get him talking.
and since we dont approve of cheating it was all just so confusing and bugging.
and now
some of my friends who havnt met him want to know what he s like. id like to just say "nice" and be done
but then that wouldnt be doing justice to this boi
so i explain and when i get to the wedding part they just look at me unbeleivingly if thats a word
one of them even said "till u are actually legaly married i wont buy this"
alright then
i dint explain further
was i that bad?
hmm
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Press 1,2 and a damned 3
Airtel is an asshole company
as are other phone companies
they give you schemes you dont want,activate promotional offers you did not ask for,basically very good at being pain in every hole
like for eg
this one number from airtel keeps calling. initially i would pick up and hear the really shrill woman cry something in marathi and hang up quickly
then the calls got familair so i saved it as creep
then i stopped picking up creeeps calls
then they got smarter and started calling me from a different number
with great patience i stored that as bastard
so now i have creep and bastard calling me
and then! they got another number and i got really really mad
so i dial 123
again the shrill woman with the nasal tone cheerfully chirps and gives me options
the navigation they put you through
after testing my tolerance fr a great period of time they finally put me to their customer support
by then am sputtering and all that comes out is "you
how can u
me
give stupid offer
dnt want "
and then he tells me it will de activated in 45 days
am like 45 hours you mean right??
no mam 45 days
45 frigging days to get rid of something i never wanted in the first place
il be gone from this place by then
wtf
as are other phone companies
they give you schemes you dont want,activate promotional offers you did not ask for,basically very good at being pain in every hole
like for eg
this one number from airtel keeps calling. initially i would pick up and hear the really shrill woman cry something in marathi and hang up quickly
then the calls got familair so i saved it as creep
then i stopped picking up creeeps calls
then they got smarter and started calling me from a different number
with great patience i stored that as bastard
so now i have creep and bastard calling me
and then! they got another number and i got really really mad
so i dial 123
again the shrill woman with the nasal tone cheerfully chirps and gives me options
the navigation they put you through
after testing my tolerance fr a great period of time they finally put me to their customer support
by then am sputtering and all that comes out is "you
how can u
me
give stupid offer
dnt want "
and then he tells me it will de activated in 45 days
am like 45 hours you mean right??
no mam 45 days
45 frigging days to get rid of something i never wanted in the first place
il be gone from this place by then
wtf
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Tent n a tail
I am pretty nice to my servant ladies,over the years. mainly cos of my hygiene obsession and that terrible need for clean bathrooms and dettol"ed floors and yes i love dettol to a very unnatural proportion..in my clothes and in hot water..yeah anyway
so am always trying to be friendly and try keeping up with their nosey-ness
and as for them on their part are very inquisitive creatures. not only do they decide which of my old clothes will suit which of their relatives,take very good care of my "almost" over shampoo and moisturisers by making it their own,to appying my nail paint liberally on their toes crouched in front of me! but still i like most of them. at least the one s back home
we have a very healthy relationship.they understand how terribly lazy i am, and i go along with their terrible need to talk ALL THE TIME
but
the one here for eg is a hindi speaking native
she stares at me like all the time she is in the room! and not those stealthy glances
downright in my face, in my nose stare
and if i look right back she l just smile
so she asks me ,pointing to A and my picture framed and on d table. "yeh kaun hai?"
now as much as i would love to not admit ,but i will,my hindi sucks..
am racking my brains thinking of a suitable response
how on earth can i say " yeh mera "woh" hai?"
trust me i could never personaly live that one down.. so i just smile and she stands next to my bed grinning
i know she knows! i mean cmon that picture ?we are literally all over each other
unless she has some really broad frame work fr d word "friends" she knows!
so i say with a hand gesture the whole tie something around my neck motion feeling lil silly
the grinner goes "sab pakki hai yaaa"
look at this woman! i am like "no"
she smiles knowingly now! or maybe its my imagination.
she is like"tho kya karogi?"
me: "bhaag jaungi"
the look of shock on her face was worth it
time for ear phones and my usual sullen silence
remember the story? the arab guy who gave the camel lil space to keep its tail in the tent?
yeah
so am always trying to be friendly and try keeping up with their nosey-ness
and as for them on their part are very inquisitive creatures. not only do they decide which of my old clothes will suit which of their relatives,take very good care of my "almost" over shampoo and moisturisers by making it their own,to appying my nail paint liberally on their toes crouched in front of me! but still i like most of them. at least the one s back home
we have a very healthy relationship.they understand how terribly lazy i am, and i go along with their terrible need to talk ALL THE TIME
but
the one here for eg is a hindi speaking native
she stares at me like all the time she is in the room! and not those stealthy glances
downright in my face, in my nose stare
and if i look right back she l just smile
so she asks me ,pointing to A and my picture framed and on d table. "yeh kaun hai?"
now as much as i would love to not admit ,but i will,my hindi sucks..
am racking my brains thinking of a suitable response
how on earth can i say " yeh mera "woh" hai?"
trust me i could never personaly live that one down.. so i just smile and she stands next to my bed grinning
i know she knows! i mean cmon that picture ?we are literally all over each other
unless she has some really broad frame work fr d word "friends" she knows!
so i say with a hand gesture the whole tie something around my neck motion feeling lil silly
the grinner goes "sab pakki hai yaaa"
look at this woman! i am like "no"
she smiles knowingly now! or maybe its my imagination.
she is like"tho kya karogi?"
me: "bhaag jaungi"
the look of shock on her face was worth it
time for ear phones and my usual sullen silence
remember the story? the arab guy who gave the camel lil space to keep its tail in the tent?
yeah
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I Do
I could totally marry jack anyday
which jack?
why jack from "jack of all trades and master of none"
who the hell wants a master anyway
which jack?
why jack from "jack of all trades and master of none"
who the hell wants a master anyway
What is Currently pissing me off
People who keep their g talk messages as "homeeeeeee"
or "home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
or " situation overrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
what the fuck is with the extra alphabets
just cos they come free dont misuse them
and
AND
When my status clearly states boldly "dont bug me" in caps,what more will it take to actually have you not ping me?
what should i do? put a bouncer up there?
the perils of wanting to be online to talk only to a boi who sits miles away and to some selected people and yet unable to say no to stupid people i know who add me.
isnt it rude to decline an invitation?
when will i learn
or "home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
or " situation overrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
what the fuck is with the extra alphabets
just cos they come free dont misuse them
and
AND
When my status clearly states boldly "dont bug me" in caps,what more will it take to actually have you not ping me?
what should i do? put a bouncer up there?
the perils of wanting to be online to talk only to a boi who sits miles away and to some selected people and yet unable to say no to stupid people i know who add me.
isnt it rude to decline an invitation?
when will i learn
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Wine by Choice
Why dont they get it? whining?
i am most definitely not doing it so that you can go on about how either " it l get better" or "it could be worse"
what makes you think i dont know that already
i just want to be in the whine zone
crib and cry and wail as much as i can.
i am most definitely not doing it so that you can go on about how either " it l get better" or "it could be worse"
what makes you think i dont know that already
i just want to be in the whine zone
crib and cry and wail as much as i can.
A Need To Write
Do i want to go to heaven or hell? heaven should be good. what with the grandmom who loved feeding me around and all the half naked angel women..
but hell would be more familiar i guess what with the people i know currently transfered out there.
remember the time when life used to be really simple and ok? like you would come back from school after having met all the dogs and cats roaming the streets,had that 1rupee thing called sip up which you were specifically told not to have and once you are home you just collapse on the sofa and watch dexter or adams family or even better scooby!
so the real question is should i stay or not.
should i stay and struggle for that job which i so badly want..that real job or should i go to the gelf and make some real money!
real being the operative word of course
have you ever shop lifted btw? not really expensive stuff like winona ryder but cheap thrills?
i have
balloons
for no reason..i just slipped them in to my loose trousers pocket and walked out with my heart in my mouth.
it was a small shop!no question of sudden alarms that would catch me but in my young lil brain i was already in jail
but that feeling afterwards..:)
i have stolen books too..from my old school library.i would flip through the book and casually saunter to the window and leave it there near d sill
and then say my byes to the librarian who used to like me a lot btw and then i would reach the corridor and just take the book from the sill.
i still have some of them. my excuse obviously being " i was poor and couldnt afford to buy books"
not entirely true but what the hell
i love them and they are better of at my place.
i am confused
just normal
but hell would be more familiar i guess what with the people i know currently transfered out there.
remember the time when life used to be really simple and ok? like you would come back from school after having met all the dogs and cats roaming the streets,had that 1rupee thing called sip up which you were specifically told not to have and once you are home you just collapse on the sofa and watch dexter or adams family or even better scooby!
so the real question is should i stay or not.
should i stay and struggle for that job which i so badly want..that real job or should i go to the gelf and make some real money!
real being the operative word of course
have you ever shop lifted btw? not really expensive stuff like winona ryder but cheap thrills?
i have
balloons
for no reason..i just slipped them in to my loose trousers pocket and walked out with my heart in my mouth.
it was a small shop!no question of sudden alarms that would catch me but in my young lil brain i was already in jail
but that feeling afterwards..:)
i have stolen books too..from my old school library.i would flip through the book and casually saunter to the window and leave it there near d sill
and then say my byes to the librarian who used to like me a lot btw and then i would reach the corridor and just take the book from the sill.
i still have some of them. my excuse obviously being " i was poor and couldnt afford to buy books"
not entirely true but what the hell
i love them and they are better of at my place.
i am confused
just normal
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Who are Bad kissers
The ones who go totally sloppy on your face
you feel like the labrador has been let loose and to make matters worse they dart their tongue in and all you can think are of snakes! n it examines every lil crevice in you mouth.like they are on a mission!
mission tooth count
and in addition to all this they breathe real heavy
very scary i tell you!
ps: a personal non favorite
The guy who makes you wait endlessly for the first kiss and builds the anticipation and then ugh
im not saying lunge at me and pounce on me..etc
just dont take it too far by being way too shy
how demanding
how irritating?
yes am aware!
you feel like the labrador has been let loose and to make matters worse they dart their tongue in and all you can think are of snakes! n it examines every lil crevice in you mouth.like they are on a mission!
mission tooth count
and in addition to all this they breathe real heavy
very scary i tell you!
ps: a personal non favorite
The guy who makes you wait endlessly for the first kiss and builds the anticipation and then ugh
im not saying lunge at me and pounce on me..etc
just dont take it too far by being way too shy
how demanding
how irritating?
yes am aware!
Million lil Pieces
In the deepest,darkest part of my once shattered to a million pieces, heart, i have firmly managed to convince myself that betrayal is normal
its a given
i expect it so much that sometimes i feel am looking forward to it.
all this only cos the minute someone does it i can go "ah there you see'"
something like a self full filling prophecy
and yes am aware how entirely pathetic that sounds.
but i would so totally be here than where i was.
it creeps me out so much each time i think about it. and then i have to completely shut down and start yet again
do you have any frigging clue how hard that is?
any day i tell my self
any coming up day u will wake up and u shall find yourself completely healed of thoughts,actions,the sheer panic,embarassment and you know that feeling? that dagger in the heart? ha
yes of all that..miraculously gone.
dont want to sound shakespearean what with the dagger and all
but all s well that ends well.
its a given
i expect it so much that sometimes i feel am looking forward to it.
all this only cos the minute someone does it i can go "ah there you see'"
something like a self full filling prophecy
and yes am aware how entirely pathetic that sounds.
but i would so totally be here than where i was.
it creeps me out so much each time i think about it. and then i have to completely shut down and start yet again
do you have any frigging clue how hard that is?
any day i tell my self
any coming up day u will wake up and u shall find yourself completely healed of thoughts,actions,the sheer panic,embarassment and you know that feeling? that dagger in the heart? ha
yes of all that..miraculously gone.
dont want to sound shakespearean what with the dagger and all
but all s well that ends well.
Ice Cream and Chat
There are some things i really dont like,approve of etc. no one cares of course..but thats ok
like ice cream for eg or chat pani puri,some bhel thing etc?
i hate them
you hear me? i hate hate hate it.
and so i am always in the corner zone when people are indulging in the abouve mentioned..you know which corner right?
"the polite,i am fine thank you,look at away in to the vague distance or maybe the sunset if you are in luck corner"
and then,
they l say "hey why dont u have some?"
and you l do yet another polite smile and say "oh am fine carry on"
the million dollar question now arrives
"you dont like i.c or chat?"
and your curt "no" is met with not just raised to the sky eye brows but immediate transfer of information to everyone around who proceed to treat you like endangered species except that you got to ans!
so you say "well i dont like the taste" while you are scanning the horizon for some form of escape
why
why cant i not like ice cream or chat
i dont like a lot many more things but nothing gets to people like these.
like ice cream for eg or chat pani puri,some bhel thing etc?
i hate them
you hear me? i hate hate hate it.
and so i am always in the corner zone when people are indulging in the abouve mentioned..you know which corner right?
"the polite,i am fine thank you,look at away in to the vague distance or maybe the sunset if you are in luck corner"
and then,
they l say "hey why dont u have some?"
and you l do yet another polite smile and say "oh am fine carry on"
the million dollar question now arrives
"you dont like i.c or chat?"
and your curt "no" is met with not just raised to the sky eye brows but immediate transfer of information to everyone around who proceed to treat you like endangered species except that you got to ans!
so you say "well i dont like the taste" while you are scanning the horizon for some form of escape
why
why cant i not like ice cream or chat
i dont like a lot many more things but nothing gets to people like these.
To say no
no further questions will be entertained regarding my religion, spiritual beliefs ,why etc
i love it.
ps: why is it tilted?
a drunk camera i guess.
Hard Harder Hardest
Staying positive has never been this hard.. wait! let me do a quick recap on that one.
allright.
staying positive has never been this fucking hard! and i am swearing ,well, you have a fair idea how hard now?
i see some people who want to talk to me. and i want to say screw you mother fucker
and that last word! if am using that then you can safely assume i am in pure hell.
sick and pissed off
sick and pissed off in the same week with two diff diseases
sick and pissed off in the same week with two diff diseases with no one to hug
for some reason i desperately want to be hugged
not patted on my head
hugged
you know the hug? where you can smell shirt collars or apple shampoo depending on gender
but better not
i might cry
allright.
staying positive has never been this fucking hard! and i am swearing ,well, you have a fair idea how hard now?
i see some people who want to talk to me. and i want to say screw you mother fucker
and that last word! if am using that then you can safely assume i am in pure hell.
sick and pissed off
sick and pissed off in the same week with two diff diseases
sick and pissed off in the same week with two diff diseases with no one to hug
for some reason i desperately want to be hugged
not patted on my head
hugged
you know the hug? where you can smell shirt collars or apple shampoo depending on gender
but better not
i might cry
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Three wishes
Not asking for much.
REALLY
want to be in RADA for a one year course in acting,new writing, anything
want to publish a book
want to teach creative writing..eventually
REALLY
want to be in RADA for a one year course in acting,new writing, anything
want to publish a book
want to teach creative writing..eventually
When its not PURE love
Does a girl always have to be in love? to have sex.
ha
someone said this to me recently..i mean said "i really dont like him much but god i could do this for a long time"
good for you.
and then..then, this another disturbing conversation happened with another friend
she is i guess 26ish?
she is from my delhi days and am pretty fond of her.. no pretenses.very in your face and very very wry humour.i like!
so she is with me here in my city when she calls me the other day
me: hey this has been long..where you been
Es: getting laid
me: ah good to hear someone is..should i ask who when how etc considering there was noone till the last time we spoke
Es: yeah..dont judge me..he is just 21 or so.
me: ermm
Es: well judged i see. lets make it up,to you.. he is from your part of the world
me: oh well then its ok..my part of the world men get laid very less i hear unless they get outa that place
Es: yeah am just helping that cause
me: haha right..so..? and?how is he
Es: yes straight to the point arent we? he is absolutely stunning
me: looking?
Es: no in action
me: hm nice must be d 21 ..they are real high on hormones i think
Es: and moves
me: hmm
nothing disturbing so far and then she had to kill it for me
Es: i have met somone else though..so i guess this is over..hey you want to meet him? he writes poems u know..sad ones..stil
me: ugh..i am almost engaged woman
Es: what!!
etc etc..over to my life..
but see the point is women are on this whole roll thing i see. its almost scary! they are willing to share for christ sake.or well dump and give you the keys rather!
i have no issues with pre marital sex. just like how i respect your decision to keep it "safe"
but what i hate is people who claim to not understand women having just vague undefined lets call them relationships.
so?
when am happy and ready il settle
till then i should wait in isolation?
pah
anyway
what is also funny is the whole twist in things..
i have male friends who are doing the worrying now..remember that once familiar "what if he doesnt call?"
"why hasnt he called?"
changed to " hey you think she likes me..she intro me to her friend..you know.."
one side of me is very glad..
the other..well..i still like chivalry.:)
and ps: most importantly none of this applies to me anymore. what could be a better point than that.
ha
someone said this to me recently..i mean said "i really dont like him much but god i could do this for a long time"
good for you.
and then..then, this another disturbing conversation happened with another friend
she is i guess 26ish?
she is from my delhi days and am pretty fond of her.. no pretenses.very in your face and very very wry humour.i like!
so she is with me here in my city when she calls me the other day
me: hey this has been long..where you been
Es: getting laid
me: ah good to hear someone is..should i ask who when how etc considering there was noone till the last time we spoke
Es: yeah..dont judge me..he is just 21 or so.
me: ermm
Es: well judged i see. lets make it up,to you.. he is from your part of the world
me: oh well then its ok..my part of the world men get laid very less i hear unless they get outa that place
Es: yeah am just helping that cause
me: haha right..so..? and?how is he
Es: yes straight to the point arent we? he is absolutely stunning
me: looking?
Es: no in action
me: hm nice must be d 21 ..they are real high on hormones i think
Es: and moves
me: hmm
nothing disturbing so far and then she had to kill it for me
Es: i have met somone else though..so i guess this is over..hey you want to meet him? he writes poems u know..sad ones..stil
me: ugh..i am almost engaged woman
Es: what!!
etc etc..over to my life..
but see the point is women are on this whole roll thing i see. its almost scary! they are willing to share for christ sake.or well dump and give you the keys rather!
i have no issues with pre marital sex. just like how i respect your decision to keep it "safe"
but what i hate is people who claim to not understand women having just vague undefined lets call them relationships.
so?
when am happy and ready il settle
till then i should wait in isolation?
pah
anyway
what is also funny is the whole twist in things..
i have male friends who are doing the worrying now..remember that once familiar "what if he doesnt call?"
"why hasnt he called?"
changed to " hey you think she likes me..she intro me to her friend..you know.."
one side of me is very glad..
the other..well..i still like chivalry.:)
and ps: most importantly none of this applies to me anymore. what could be a better point than that.
Some Comparison
general elections are coming soon
mayawati might become our next pm
one of the cited reasons being "if obama from his background can be the first black american president then why not mayawati from her dalit background"
for what?
putting up statues of ex dalit leaders at all prominent junctions and getting media coverage for it being bigger than the statue of liberty!
for having not read the constitution
for being ignorant of law and justice
for firing yadava officers from their official capacity and replacing them with dalits as and when she pleases
for having a party that caters to just one section of the society who have apparently gotten to on the wrong side of numbers
for being neither social nor sociable
and the comparison!
from a man who has a vision for an entire nation and has far sighted policies towards growth and sustainable devpt for not just people from his ethnic background, but for all stratas of society,to a woman who is not a leftist nor a rightist but a self declared oppurtunist.
"jai mayawatidevi"
look at them swelling with pride and galloping in to the vote banks!
on the other hand
true dalits are oppressed
women are oppressed
her as the candidate is one of the best options indeed..there will be so much talk,media and hype about a woman who has come up from the extreme end of the well and risen to the top
whether in action and reality true or not we will be gifted with a beacon of hope,so to say!
The indian middle class will be thrilled combined with the fact that she is from no dynastic politics unlike her counterparts in india, sri lanka and pakistan.
who wants the rest of the gory details
the abouve are enough.
the dalit heroine to the rescue.
mayawati might become our next pm
one of the cited reasons being "if obama from his background can be the first black american president then why not mayawati from her dalit background"
for what?
putting up statues of ex dalit leaders at all prominent junctions and getting media coverage for it being bigger than the statue of liberty!
for having not read the constitution
for being ignorant of law and justice
for firing yadava officers from their official capacity and replacing them with dalits as and when she pleases
for having a party that caters to just one section of the society who have apparently gotten to on the wrong side of numbers
for being neither social nor sociable
and the comparison!
from a man who has a vision for an entire nation and has far sighted policies towards growth and sustainable devpt for not just people from his ethnic background, but for all stratas of society,to a woman who is not a leftist nor a rightist but a self declared oppurtunist.
"jai mayawatidevi"
look at them swelling with pride and galloping in to the vote banks!
on the other hand
true dalits are oppressed
women are oppressed
her as the candidate is one of the best options indeed..there will be so much talk,media and hype about a woman who has come up from the extreme end of the well and risen to the top
whether in action and reality true or not we will be gifted with a beacon of hope,so to say!
The indian middle class will be thrilled combined with the fact that she is from no dynastic politics unlike her counterparts in india, sri lanka and pakistan.
who wants the rest of the gory details
the abouve are enough.
the dalit heroine to the rescue.
Some Things
some things that the mother has recently said to me which only re reminded me how much i love her judgement and how no matter what she thinks of me she is always always going to be there..supportive and a lil critical.
so these are just two things that struck a chord
"so all i am saying is be careful..i know you think you have hardened yourself but i also know that you are still as vulnerable and soft as before..dont get your heart broken..cos then you l have time just to cry and also i dont want to deal with that again!"
tough you think?
then listen to this!
"if nothing i have to give this to you..you somehow manage to get men to want to marry you..i dont know what is is.i cant tolerate your nonsense after a while, i just dont understand"
and she sounded so genuinely puzzled!
so these are just two things that struck a chord
"so all i am saying is be careful..i know you think you have hardened yourself but i also know that you are still as vulnerable and soft as before..dont get your heart broken..cos then you l have time just to cry and also i dont want to deal with that again!"
tough you think?
then listen to this!
"if nothing i have to give this to you..you somehow manage to get men to want to marry you..i dont know what is is.i cant tolerate your nonsense after a while, i just dont understand"
and she sounded so genuinely puzzled!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Hate it Like When
like those times when you are In a restaurant,With your girlfriend and two men and its cold,you have the pashmina all draped around but you want the world to see your nice oh so pretty halter which has never seen daylight so far, so as a favor to it you show it some night light,dusk light whatever,and then you text your girl friend across the table surreptitiously "too much cleavage?" and she says "nope"
and so you take d pashmina off and then your favorite food, read: thai, is here and you are about to start,when you realise ,your strap less bra has come off one side.
and now you are just a lady with one strap off and uncomfortable and making small talk thinking all the while wtf!
and so you take d pashmina off and then your favorite food, read: thai, is here and you are about to start,when you realise ,your strap less bra has come off one side.
and now you are just a lady with one strap off and uncomfortable and making small talk thinking all the while wtf!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Categories
The following are the categories of people i do not like
when they start to speak my mind is already galloping away and away
lets see
1. The all too familiar guy
This guy is everywhere. He is waay tooo friendly.
at get togethers he l grab you by your waist and act very familiar though all you have spoken to him in all the time you know him is probably a single hello and that too cos he was staring right at you for the longest period!
he l cut short your name if its long.give you pet names even if its short ranging from "baebbby to bebu"
like for eg my name is long which no one calls me.
its been shortened all ready. but that short version is apparently not enough for this guy
he needs his version
he is all en compassing if you know what i mean..ready to help, ready with advises unasked for
ready with his fuck all opinion
you just cant get rid of him cos your attempts at it are playfully chided away with a "running away from me aah?"
yes yes
yes indeed!
2. The proverbial cool girl
she is fat
she studis all the time! or in some cases lets say works all the time
she wears horrible clothes
horribler colors
she has really bad hair and face and mouth and nail and feet days all through the year
but all this does not stop her from saying and behaving "cool"
she will hunt you down and check your new stuff
analyse it and say how "uhmm but this wont suit you.."
who will it suit then? you?
ha
move over will you? you are blocking the sun is all i wanted to say once.
i hate i repeat unasked for opinions!! i dont supply you warmly and generously with them
so then??
she also will say "sup??" with a tilt of her head upwards and then chin down
and mere earthlings like you will say "good..good"
3. The opinion less
In this i have met mostly women so well from experience it goes like this
once you realise that there is nothing up there then its good fun
say fr eg you see a blue building and you go "hey look at that nice shade of orange,id like that for my curtains what dyu think"
she l go "yes yes, nice it l look in a living room."
and then the third person will sputter "but but isnt that erm blue"?
and the opinion less fool will go "yeah i can see a slight tinge of blue"!!!!
obv this is exaggerated but you get the idea..
4) and lastly the worse kind for me.
the girl who giggles throughout and i mean throughout a sentence!
"i nah hee hee hee went to this place heee hee hee and then saw this hee hee..."
hee hee? is all i heard!!
there are more
but i am tired and i dont feel up to doing this anymore
now you might get a vague idea why people dont like me much..
when they start to speak my mind is already galloping away and away
lets see
1. The all too familiar guy
This guy is everywhere. He is waay tooo friendly.
at get togethers he l grab you by your waist and act very familiar though all you have spoken to him in all the time you know him is probably a single hello and that too cos he was staring right at you for the longest period!
he l cut short your name if its long.give you pet names even if its short ranging from "baebbby to bebu"
like for eg my name is long which no one calls me.
its been shortened all ready. but that short version is apparently not enough for this guy
he needs his version
he is all en compassing if you know what i mean..ready to help, ready with advises unasked for
ready with his fuck all opinion
you just cant get rid of him cos your attempts at it are playfully chided away with a "running away from me aah?"
yes yes
yes indeed!
2. The proverbial cool girl
she is fat
she studis all the time! or in some cases lets say works all the time
she wears horrible clothes
horribler colors
she has really bad hair and face and mouth and nail and feet days all through the year
but all this does not stop her from saying and behaving "cool"
she will hunt you down and check your new stuff
analyse it and say how "uhmm but this wont suit you.."
who will it suit then? you?
ha
move over will you? you are blocking the sun is all i wanted to say once.
i hate i repeat unasked for opinions!! i dont supply you warmly and generously with them
so then??
she also will say "sup??" with a tilt of her head upwards and then chin down
and mere earthlings like you will say "good..good"
3. The opinion less
In this i have met mostly women so well from experience it goes like this
once you realise that there is nothing up there then its good fun
say fr eg you see a blue building and you go "hey look at that nice shade of orange,id like that for my curtains what dyu think"
she l go "yes yes, nice it l look in a living room."
and then the third person will sputter "but but isnt that erm blue"?
and the opinion less fool will go "yeah i can see a slight tinge of blue"!!!!
obv this is exaggerated but you get the idea..
4) and lastly the worse kind for me.
the girl who giggles throughout and i mean throughout a sentence!
"i nah hee hee hee went to this place heee hee hee and then saw this hee hee..."
hee hee? is all i heard!!
there are more
but i am tired and i dont feel up to doing this anymore
now you might get a vague idea why people dont like me much..
my dearest life
why dont you come home to my place? to my house? come live with me
why do i have to pick up and leave
pack up all 23 years and do this moving..?
what did you say?
oh
i am the girl
right. how could i forget!
and to think how much i love being the girl.
see i told you..there are always low points.
why dont you come home to my place? to my house? come live with me
why do i have to pick up and leave
pack up all 23 years and do this moving..?
what did you say?
oh
i am the girl
right. how could i forget!
and to think how much i love being the girl.
see i told you..there are always low points.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
neuw
In turning points i always need new things to help me through. take away the bluntness and the edges. you know? a general take my attention away from getting used to the newer bit that are about to happen
since we beleived in dating till a while back we had new n newer interesting men hop in and hop out.
now we cant do that.
so what do we do?
we read new books
listen to new bands
go to new places
have a new blog
new being the operative word
i am running out of new things to do.
since we beleived in dating till a while back we had new n newer interesting men hop in and hop out.
now we cant do that.
so what do we do?
we read new books
listen to new bands
go to new places
have a new blog
new being the operative word
i am running out of new things to do.
I had to literally push him into telling people about me.. not like "go ahead tell them"
a more whiny "but why not"
i am usually not into meetin friends and double dates! if you insist i turn on the charm and come along but not so much. but at the same time i have no problem with you meeting my side of the world.
but this time i dont know what did it.
maybe the distance.
maybe the whole secrecy bit..which i never understand anyway.
and so there.
did it matter so much? not really.
but did it matter so much? yes it did.
but really how pathetic was that..
dont think about it
dont think about it.
a more whiny "but why not"
i am usually not into meetin friends and double dates! if you insist i turn on the charm and come along but not so much. but at the same time i have no problem with you meeting my side of the world.
but this time i dont know what did it.
maybe the distance.
maybe the whole secrecy bit..which i never understand anyway.
and so there.
did it matter so much? not really.
but did it matter so much? yes it did.
but really how pathetic was that..
dont think about it
dont think about it.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Fever and her Friends
I have an excuse to ramble on as much and as much as i can.
i have caught the common cold and her friends, which are btw sneezing without a break, coughing like you are 90 and have people look at you in disgust, rude behaviour acceptable only by finicky and D boi so far,dirty hair and face and a nose that i want to donate.
i never liked my nose anyway you know. i think its too thick,too red when its cold and lavishly sprayed with something that i call freckles cos when i googled it? no suitable word came up.
you can call it ugly spots if you want.. The sister does. How do you think she ended up with a broken nose anyway? ha
and while we are on the cold issue, i heard this phrase:
"when the US sneezes the entire world catches a cold"!!
id like to spit some of my phglem on the author of this phrase while at the same time cringe at the lil element of truth in it..
like i said earlier i have full rights to say all i want.considering that no one is willling to listen and i have to painstakingly type i would like to beleive that i have earned this right.
imagine a bad hair and face day!together and you cant have a bath. how does that suit you eh?
not so good is it now.
i am crumpled in the foetal position trying to watch friends and drink coffee made by own hands
you know which one? season 7
monica"s thunder.
it always cheers me up from the flu attack.
excerpts: from phoebe
" when i first met chandler
i thought he was gay
but here i am singing
on his wedding day"!!
monica to the world from the terrace and some poor bastard:
"i am engaged im getting married "
" shaddap"
" you shaddap all big talk! you come right over! my fiance will kick your ass"!!!
monica to the rest:
" i just want to say that i louw you guys so so much and thank you for being here on my special night"
"ahem"
"our special night"
"it just wouldnt be my,our our night,if u all werent here to celebrate with me,i mean us! dammit!!
chandler to jo:
"hey jo, you have had a lot of sex right"
"hmm today??? yeah some!"
monica to rachel"
"am so sorry that i almost made you sleep with ross!!"
hahahaha
i have caught the common cold and her friends, which are btw sneezing without a break, coughing like you are 90 and have people look at you in disgust, rude behaviour acceptable only by finicky and D boi so far,dirty hair and face and a nose that i want to donate.
i never liked my nose anyway you know. i think its too thick,too red when its cold and lavishly sprayed with something that i call freckles cos when i googled it? no suitable word came up.
you can call it ugly spots if you want.. The sister does. How do you think she ended up with a broken nose anyway? ha
and while we are on the cold issue, i heard this phrase:
"when the US sneezes the entire world catches a cold"!!
id like to spit some of my phglem on the author of this phrase while at the same time cringe at the lil element of truth in it..
like i said earlier i have full rights to say all i want.considering that no one is willling to listen and i have to painstakingly type i would like to beleive that i have earned this right.
imagine a bad hair and face day!together and you cant have a bath. how does that suit you eh?
not so good is it now.
i am crumpled in the foetal position trying to watch friends and drink coffee made by own hands
you know which one? season 7
monica"s thunder.
it always cheers me up from the flu attack.
excerpts: from phoebe
" when i first met chandler
i thought he was gay
but here i am singing
on his wedding day"!!
monica to the world from the terrace and some poor bastard:
"i am engaged im getting married "
" shaddap"
" you shaddap all big talk! you come right over! my fiance will kick your ass"!!!
monica to the rest:
" i just want to say that i louw you guys so so much and thank you for being here on my special night"
"ahem"
"our special night"
"it just wouldnt be my,our our night,if u all werent here to celebrate with me,i mean us! dammit!!
chandler to jo:
"hey jo, you have had a lot of sex right"
"hmm today??? yeah some!"
monica to rachel"
"am so sorry that i almost made you sleep with ross!!"
hahahaha
Monday, February 2, 2009
Two more Invigorating Interviews in the Loo
Interviewer: How does it feel being married to George clooney?
George clooneys scintillating wife: <> George is an absolute sweetheart,he surprises me in small ways and he is a virile young tiger in bed..we are looking forward to starting a family soon.
Interviewer: How does it feel to be the youngest booker winner at the very young age of 28?
Me: I dont know what to say..i dont have a practised speech you see. but i know i deserve this,i have worked very hard for it and i would like to thank......
ps: All the abouve mentioned scenes happen in my loo with my fist as a make beleive mike
so?
whats your problem
George clooneys scintillating wife: <> George is an absolute sweetheart,he surprises me in small ways and he is a virile young tiger in bed..we are looking forward to starting a family soon.
Interviewer: How does it feel to be the youngest booker winner at the very young age of 28?
Me: I dont know what to say..i dont have a practised speech you see. but i know i deserve this,i have worked very hard for it and i would like to thank......
ps: All the abouve mentioned scenes happen in my loo with my fist as a make beleive mike
so?
whats your problem
Ps:I Love You
Interviewer: From someone who never beleived in soul mates. smirked at the very idea, found it a cheesy line to someone who smiles thinking about it..how does it feel?
Me: well, i never really scoffed at it,just never met anyone,you see till now
how do i explain.you are with me all the time. in words and thoughts,in emotions and fights..
we are miles away and yet not so separated
i know you are perfect for me. i know you l take care of me. i can hear it in your voice
i like it that you went ahead and did what you wanted to,i like it that you are sensitive
i like all your stories and your laughter and practically everything you have to say.
i like it that i always had you in the back of my mind. and that now,its exactly
how i thought it would be.i like it that sometimes you get it immedietly and i dont have to
go on and elaborate. i like it that you are turned on by me.
i like it that you are not really so insecure.
i like our plans,the dog and my extra bathroom!
i like the me with you who is apparently calmer and steadier less prone to frantic worrying
i just wanted to say i love you.
Me: well, i never really scoffed at it,just never met anyone,you see till now
how do i explain.you are with me all the time. in words and thoughts,in emotions and fights..
we are miles away and yet not so separated
i know you are perfect for me. i know you l take care of me. i can hear it in your voice
i like it that you went ahead and did what you wanted to,i like it that you are sensitive
i like all your stories and your laughter and practically everything you have to say.
i like it that i always had you in the back of my mind. and that now,its exactly
how i thought it would be.i like it that sometimes you get it immedietly and i dont have to
go on and elaborate. i like it that you are turned on by me.
i like it that you are not really so insecure.
i like our plans,the dog and my extra bathroom!
i like the me with you who is apparently calmer and steadier less prone to frantic worrying
i just wanted to say i love you.
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