Happy Hols

Well, happy holidays all you non-waddling, non pumpkins.

You know how I was all glowy and pregnancy is great and awesome? Yeah I am done with that. These last few weeks have been so so super tiring. All I want to do is moan. Moan from bed, from couch, from loo, while eating. I think the baby is supposed to have lowered or lightened but I definitely still feel quite breathless, so maybe she hasn't. This whole ' sleeping on the left side' is maha bore. Once I get something into my head, I am constantly aware of it. That didn't make sense. What I mean is throughout the nights I am on alert for right side sleeping/ on my back. On my back is quite impossible anyway. Plus peeing. Oh the glorious never ending peeing. Initially I would feel bad about waking A up who must be super tired himself, but now I don't care.

I have a vagina exam coming up so maybe she can tell me what is going on. The only happy comes from knowing that baby wont be pre-term. I had my worries there what with all babies belonging to friends arriving weeks early and getting stuck in NICU. They all look happy and healthy when they are officially Facebook presented though - all chubby and cute. Looking at their pictures also kind of gives me the calms.

All right, Happy Holidays to all. Over here we are doing Chicago style pizza and Amma's chicken biriyani for christmas festivities. Oh. And its our anniversary tomorrow. We were discussing how it would have been if I had waited for him to finish his phd to get married! There would be no byaby now. But there is- our wriggly squirmy little baby. 

Say Hello

to Dr. A please.
Thank you.

Like my sister said, finally, huh! It actually wasn't that long if you could consider how long other perfectionists take to complete their Phd's. About five years and change. Even though I couldn't go I got to google-hangout and see him for a few minutes before he turned off the camera and then it was just his voice. We had done trial runs together so I knew all the slides and the timing and initially it felt like he was going a bit fast and it would be painful if he finished before the designated one hour. But eventually he settled in. During the trials, he would get breathless and a little muddled but now here he was supremely confident and that tone- the I got this- tone that made me so proud. I just sat and beamed and cursed when Prof.s interrupted to ask questions. Then other folks questioned and that went on for a whole hour and he turned off the voice-device ( ?) too so all I could see was the slides moving. It took one hour and a few minutes before those stopped and then I spend some nervous minutes waiting for him to call and he called and we were done and whoo-hoo! Apparently he loved all the questions!
Then there was the partaay and he had a hangover the next day bad enough to not drive back till mid afternoon & he brought back my Bub's burger and we hugged and discussed it again to death.

The most surprising bit however was when his mum called me to congratulate and I said, oh thanks! And she said, well, we can only pray from here but you did the rest, supporting him and waiting.
I admit I didn't see that one coming which therefore prompted my, oh wow, thank you, that is so sweet of you response which well, resulted in uncomfortable giggles on both ends.

And that is all.

What I miss

This could be a reaaaly long post but I will just make it a quick bullet point of the main stuff.

So my friend send me this link to a German inspired Christmas market that rolls in every year and in the photos everything looked so bright and x-massy but as soon as I opened the first food section it showed a certain- warm, spiced wine- and you get to keep the mug as a souvenir. Somehow this made me very sad. I am sure A would give me his mug but I want to drink my own spiced warm wine and keep my mug.
I have been really okay about drinking though. Once you make peace with the fact that you are not going to and that when you go out with buddies, you are going to be the only one saying, water please, then its all good. And also make peace with the - oh, and what will you have? beer?- jokes.
But maybe because this is the tail end (6 weeks, folks, 6 weeks!) its becoming harder. You know how if someone says, no, you cant have the cold lemonade then all you can think of is the damned lemonade? Or is this just me being infantile? Its something like that.

I miss-miss being sexy/ attractive.
A thinks I am cute now which is fine. I feel very cute, too. But that good feeling from wearing a black dress- heels- a dash of lipstick and hair curly ( okay, no hair) but you get the gist. I like seeing me in the mirror, like a pumpkin, like a basketball. I might have some missing feelings for my belly when its gone but I can't imagine being sexy for a really long time.

Which brings me to- TMI- so go away if you don't want to think of my sex life.
I miss sex! I had a lot of, lotttt of sex dreams usually about women but then a few days ago I had a really good one with A and I woke up irritated/ moody/ annoyed. I know, I know. My friend, M, said she had sex till the very end but I don't imagine I can/ will. I mean I can't even see my toes and I haven't shaved my legs- :/ and also: above point. Having sex with a 'cute' person is really not something I personally would look forward to.

I miss being able to eat what I want. This should really have been the first point. You know how constipation is your soul mate when you are pregnant. And I have a history of digestion related issues but  somehow, just somehow I have managed to avoid the consties. It has to do with the food, I am sure. But there are just so many things I cant even count on my fingers that I would like to eat. Top of the list: curry bratwurst at the stupid market.

A is defending today, in fact in under an hour. I had always dreamt of being there. Initially just coz. I had no idea what he did but once his dissertation was over, he gave it to me to read. It was a tad boring at first but then the more I read and asked questions it became simpler and easier to understand. And now I can actually explain what the husband does! The doc said I could go, and I was about to when last week I got eerily contraction type symptoms and had to be at the hospital where they monitored, IV'd and finally said, nope. I think its the baby getting in position and related pains. Anyway so we decided not to take the chance and I will google-watch it but I so wanted to be there and also for the after partay! I will just make it up during the May graduation ceremony, I suppose but it was so disheartening to send him off alone.

There is ice-skating at Lincoln Park for 5$. Next year.