Hmghggj

So too many rejections have been coming my way. too many for my own good. One guy said " Dont be disheartened, i thought it was brilliant but just not a good fit right now, you should keep trying at other places"

Dude. Fuck you. Seriously. This is horrid. An outright "Get out of our sight girl, dont ever,EVER send things this way" is uhmm kinda better than"oh this is brilliant, you are the next wonder from India, but not for us."
You see what i am saying? I have 2 whole months of waiting before the rejections from the programs will start trickling in.I will stay glued to the Mfa blog, to the facebook group, to the profiles of other applicants, though staring at their photos will accomplish what i dont know.

I am slowly getting into that place, you know the place, where you dream about rejections. I am so going to be taking it horribly personally. And its going to be one hell of a task re-motivating me out of it. AND the problem is because of all this i am not reading or writing anymore.I got a graphic novel from the library and its like the easiest thing to read, just keep flipping the pages and i am stuck with that.

what else
I imagine soon someone will say to me.

Dear s
Thank you for letting us read your crap. Its a no. AND IT always will be.

Dear s
What were you thinking!
(clearly you are not)

Dear S
hahahaha!
Seriously. har har.

Dear S
For your sake we hope you will find peace and your calling. well, its really for our sanity.
The Editors.

I am making book lists though. Like i should read all this before i get into a program cos you dont want to reach there and feel like a fool what with all those literary genius types discussing structure and dialogue and types of criticism.

Moving on. vacation was = disaster. all the flights we had to catch disappeared/ dint arrive/ cancelled. people treated us like airport beggars making us wait in endless queues while they spoke in german about i dont know what, maybe how stinky i was. and how under no condition should we allow her to board any of our flights. :/

Then we reached and peeled the clothes of us. and i proceeded to fall sick the next day. my father wouldn't take me to a hospital ,something to do with his ex-vet skills as a doc. meh
i know when gargling will help and this was not one of those times. finally we had to go. oh, thats right. i gave it to boi too. No reason he should trot about happily. My appetite wasn't affected though, thank god for small favors.
Dubai was cold and mall-ed. We prefer to sit at home and watch movies cos that is kind of our idea of family bonding. Boi's sis had taken leave to take us out. Boi had knee injury. You can guess how that must have gone. i left back to Muscat early than boi and i land and the infection is ready and waiting. I get admitted in hospital cos i am travelling in less than five days. The nurse does a bad IV job for which am suffering now, its sort of swelled up now.

I thought i applied to one place. i realize now i haven't. oh well.

soon, later.