I am on the tail end of a long, super long, read two months long vacation that ends in two day. So big feelings.
I bought a relatively calm baby with me here and now I am leaving with some kind of hybrid of energy fueled, tantrum toting, non napping version. Husband who did not come on said vacation will be meeting this new baby soon.
So what happened?
I dont know, I suppose a combination of growing and being exposed to less strict caregivers like my mother who will relent in less than ten minutes and ask, Shall I give her some milk?
Milk: V drinks one big bottle before sleeping at night. She is a poor, poor sleeper. She is so clingy and will only sleep with me or Amma. She needs a hand hovering near her so that each time she gets night terrors or wakes up the hand must pat her bum or grab her hand. She usually sleeps one long bout of 5 hours and then asks for milk. In between we gave her water and she accepted for a while, but now that is an absolute no no and somehow it has ended in a no water strike. So now there is every day a struggle to take that straw cup. Then of course she learned tricks with it. To blow bubbles into the cup. To drink some and then spit it out. To drink some and let it slowly trickle down from her mouth drenching her clothes.
The ped had asked us to stop night feeds. I dont understand how people do this. I think it requires an iron resolve, one I am clearly lacking. Plus it isnt like I am the nicest person in the middle of the night. The cows milk also makes her constipated so I have continued to give her formula for some night feeds which is worrying on its own.
I think I just am beginning to realize how big "worrying" is a factor in parenting. I think I need to find a an outlet or some kind of reasoning to tone it down. Its not like I am actively worrying as in telling everyone, pondering on it. This is more of a checklist worry always in the back of mind. If I can cut one worry off I feel immensely successful.
Nap: I dont know if she is dropping a nap or what the new agenda is. Some days two naps are accomplished and on some she will fight you tooth and bone. Like today. She explored all the cupboards in the bedroom, pulled out drawers, threw down clothes from the bed. I dont mind the exploring because its unreasonable to not have a safe baby space and then keep saying no to her. But the clothes throwing- nah.
Anyway post all that she drank a milk bottle and then proceeded to do some more running around. Meanwhile I read on how you are to put baby down awake and let them drift off to sleep. I felt murderous.
She didnt nap. Is currently very cranky.
My mother, "She wont always be like this? She will nap and go down without a fight."
Me, " When?"
Her, " After 2 maybe.."
That wont do.
Food: The baby I brought here could 80% self feed. Now she is mostly fed.
I didnt have the fight in me to tell Amma no. I mean I did a few times but she won because all the travelling etc here to India, and back, had made V thin. She had lost maybe a pound or so. And then the feeding thing caught on. I still try to get her to eat breakfast alone. The deal is she eats. she likes food, but once she is done she throws the rest down. Somehow Amma doesnt understand that she is done. Its her being a baby apparently. And so rhymes, books, knick knacks come out and the rest is given.
Well I guess I will handle the rest when I am back.
I bought a relatively calm baby with me here and now I am leaving with some kind of hybrid of energy fueled, tantrum toting, non napping version. Husband who did not come on said vacation will be meeting this new baby soon.
So what happened?
I dont know, I suppose a combination of growing and being exposed to less strict caregivers like my mother who will relent in less than ten minutes and ask, Shall I give her some milk?
Milk: V drinks one big bottle before sleeping at night. She is a poor, poor sleeper. She is so clingy and will only sleep with me or Amma. She needs a hand hovering near her so that each time she gets night terrors or wakes up the hand must pat her bum or grab her hand. She usually sleeps one long bout of 5 hours and then asks for milk. In between we gave her water and she accepted for a while, but now that is an absolute no no and somehow it has ended in a no water strike. So now there is every day a struggle to take that straw cup. Then of course she learned tricks with it. To blow bubbles into the cup. To drink some and then spit it out. To drink some and let it slowly trickle down from her mouth drenching her clothes.
The ped had asked us to stop night feeds. I dont understand how people do this. I think it requires an iron resolve, one I am clearly lacking. Plus it isnt like I am the nicest person in the middle of the night. The cows milk also makes her constipated so I have continued to give her formula for some night feeds which is worrying on its own.
I think I just am beginning to realize how big "worrying" is a factor in parenting. I think I need to find a an outlet or some kind of reasoning to tone it down. Its not like I am actively worrying as in telling everyone, pondering on it. This is more of a checklist worry always in the back of mind. If I can cut one worry off I feel immensely successful.
Nap: I dont know if she is dropping a nap or what the new agenda is. Some days two naps are accomplished and on some she will fight you tooth and bone. Like today. She explored all the cupboards in the bedroom, pulled out drawers, threw down clothes from the bed. I dont mind the exploring because its unreasonable to not have a safe baby space and then keep saying no to her. But the clothes throwing- nah.
Anyway post all that she drank a milk bottle and then proceeded to do some more running around. Meanwhile I read on how you are to put baby down awake and let them drift off to sleep. I felt murderous.
She didnt nap. Is currently very cranky.
My mother, "She wont always be like this? She will nap and go down without a fight."
Me, " When?"
Her, " After 2 maybe.."
That wont do.
Food: The baby I brought here could 80% self feed. Now she is mostly fed.
I didnt have the fight in me to tell Amma no. I mean I did a few times but she won because all the travelling etc here to India, and back, had made V thin. She had lost maybe a pound or so. And then the feeding thing caught on. I still try to get her to eat breakfast alone. The deal is she eats. she likes food, but once she is done she throws the rest down. Somehow Amma doesnt understand that she is done. Its her being a baby apparently. And so rhymes, books, knick knacks come out and the rest is given.
Well I guess I will handle the rest when I am back.
3 comments:
How old is she? If it's any comfort, my kids (especially Mimi) stopped night feeds late. Like when they were 2 or something. Mimi got off the bottle completely when she was 3! My helper (from the Phillipines) said her 5-year-old sometimes asks for milk in the bottle and they let her have it. They don't see the problem. I think 5 might be stretching it, but I know people would be horrified with a bottle at 3 though. I don't see what the big problem is. Also, what's the issue with giving formula? I mean, apart from the expense? When my kids stopped the bottle, they pretty much dropped milk altogether, but I don't care. They eat lots of curds, cheese etc. And we give a multivitamin, so I guess they're covered. I think all these rules should be guidelines (also many are quite Western centric).
Ugh typed a comment that just disappeared!
How old is she? If it's any comfort, my kids stopped night feeds late, like after two, and Mimi was on the bottle till a bit after three. I know this would provoke shock and horror but my Filipino helper told me that her daughter sometimes asks for and got a bottle of milk at 5. Also what's the issue with formula, apart from the expense? There are so many rules about these things but when you look into the actual consequences of not following them, nothing that dire happens. I know it's hard not to stress, but as a parent who has taken the path of least resistance, it works out ok in the end. There may be a struggle when they ahve to give up soemthing, but when they're more ready for it, it's easier.
She is 15m. So I am all for least resistance but its exhausting because we bed share and she doesn't "need" milk its more of a soothing thing because in the time after this post and now we stopped milk and offered water. She takes a few sips and is out. So now its better!
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