Of the many issues,top of my head

This post by this woman just made me realise how far gone i really am, but am glad she is company with her own weirdness.
so i have terrible choice anxiety issues.i can never really pick a restaurant to go to, esp with a friend. with the boi,its sort of ok. But if someone asks me to lunch or we are meeting up i always let them pick.
So my friend Marya was in town and she asked me to come for lunch and i said ok. she asked me if i could pick her up and i said no,since she is pregnant! and i dont want to drive around pregnant women,too much pressure. so she said ok. and thus begins my trouble.
So its raining and im uncomfy driving in cochin traffic with the pouring rain and its terribly hard to find a auto so i text her asking if she can pick me up cos she lives about 20mins away and she says "hmm,yes."
first the hmm bothers me and am wondering if she is thinking how i said no and now she has to pick me up!

next she asks where we should go. i say a few options and ask her to pick! its like she doesnt know me at all cos she goes no u do!
ugh
I call her and say how i cant.i just cant! and she says all alright! how about taj. and i tell her i dont want to dress up etc and again am worrying for saying no,cos i feel am being a pain by now. so i am about to tentatively tell her taj is fine when she mentions its my before going away treat from her! so now i cant say yes to taj cos what if she thinks im saying ok because i want an expensive treat!!
sigh. i know.i do need help.

anyhow she says allright the usual then. Attic. i agree quickly. the usual is always cool with me.
she picks me and we go to Attic and after waiting for about 10minutes the guy comes and smiles and says
" yeah no food." we are like "eh?"
he goes on about renovation and how he can provide us with "cool drinks" if we wish.
we dont wish.
Now again am stuck with stupid choices and for some reason she is distracted and wont pick and i finally tell her how lets just go down. there is a place right below.

We go there and order normal fish curry meals and i am constantly thinking is she liking it? will she think i ruined her one lunch esp when she is pregnant! did she want sizzlers that badly! what do i do!!
:( to make it worse she asks for plain white rice and they dont have it and i personally take on their failure to provide white rice!!

Finally we finish and during which i bombard her with many is it ok. are u ok. do you like it. is it soggy.? have my sambhar! more papadam? and such.
it was painful,terribly so. But somehow despite all this i still have a decent time. and hopefully she did too!!

The second incident was yesterday when achan or his usual driver couldnt take me out and i got this different driver. Now i have this unnecessary need to make conversation with service people.not out of any obligation but because i do like hearing were people are from, their stories generally,i keep talking, asking and am sure being a pain.
so this guy made the mistake of telling me he is from calicut side, what does he know my instant connection to calicut side people! he is asked many many questions,where exactttly in calicut,how long here,kids?wife?
not in that order!
wife? kids? were do they study!
see, if they are rude or you know unfriendly i do stop. but if they are equally fond of conversation i just cant end it! thats the problem,i just cant find the limit. and anyway finally there was silence finally and am thinking will he think he bored me? !!
There was some amount of wait involved,cos shopping is something i do once a while but that once will take a long time. I told him about an hour and half and apologised for making him wait! fully aware that he is being paid for it and that its his job.

It took more than 2 hrs during which i called him almost thrice,once asking him if he wished to have chaya.
cos i am! he politely declined making me lil annoyed. :(
finally after the third call he told me its ok! its time for his niskaram ( evening prayer) and that he will take about 20minutes!
The releif people! He will take time,not me.ha.
Going back i was tired enough to shut the fuck up. and worried some more about what he will think and similair crap. The only saving grace is i realise how far gone i am..