My days

The days go by in a haze of fucking and of familiar smells that cling on even after a hasty or even a long wash,a scrubbed down one and yet i come out feeling raw and of food devoured regretted and then tried to be shed,lost,get rid of,anything,by running in d gym like a panicked horse,
of word lists and a certain smugness that is not exibited due to a certain fear of jinxing it but still amazing the random words i do know, and the ones i dont swirl around in my head in strange moments like when i stand with yellow gloves on (to protect my fingernails) washing dishes that the boi says "Creeps on us" when we are not looking,they say amongst themselves "look look no one is watching and jump into the sink,rubbing shoulders with whatever is there in a spirit of chumminess and then get greasy and with butter smileys on plates and bowls and glasses that smile up in evil grins.
of cheesecakes,looked at and then tasted and then followed up with orgasmic noises,disgusting,embarassing and thankfully alone.
Of the hot summer, a blinding sun and new people. new people always make me nervous,esp one's that dont smile much,one's that dont smiley faces in chat too, but these new people are allright so far. of a big,large,rambling library and of a random book picked with no catalogue checked,no plan nothing, just for the black simple cover and the joy when it turns out i love it.
of watching the boi when he is not looking and watch some more and get caught and feel little ugh and of saying the same things together and look surprised for a few seconds and then yell at each other. sick. pretty sick.
Of many movies,watched together,alone and still waiting to be seen. shamelessly be myself and expect him to like it. not sure if he likes it. cant do anything now.
these are my days.