The boi has left and I am on my own and its absolutely not a good feeling and I am miserably unhappy and unreasonably angry but not sure who to be angry at. I dont like living alone anymore. I did, I had big plans earlier and all when I did but now all I want is to come home at night and whine to the boi about a hard day-if hard day or tell him about my good moments and have him rub my feet.
As I said earlier, the room is fine, the people are fine, everything is just fine. But all I can think of is going back to Bloomington. I will stop now, maybe I might jinx myself.
Life is on standstill till Wednesday. Till everyone gets back with comments on the story I submitted last week. Especially L.E's comments. LE pronounces a story as a success or just ok and I am torn, torn re reading it. I dont know what to think and my head hurts from analyzing what he is thinking. So Wednesday and it depresses me that if its bad I will have to cry alone and if its good I have to be on phone telling boi. Its really not thaaat big a deal- I guess after all I am here to get better but I cant shake off that feeling that this counts towards something.
We went to a Prof.s house for Labor day- I think I mentioned earlier on. Most people brought their spouses/ partners and I can tell you that A was the best looking boi there. No, I am not just saying that cos he is on a flight back home. Really! I dont understand how people can dress so badly and step out! I wont get into details because well you know- who knows who might see this along the road. Anyhow. It wasnt so bad- the socializing. I managed to stay about two hours without quite looking foolish, except when I ran into Ha Jin and literally stayed open mouthed and thankfully Boi saved me from that. From further - I am so so so so thrilled to meet you dialogues from leaving my mouth repeatedly. The food was bad.
I am supposed to be reading Silence by Shusaku Endo and instead I am obssesively reading The Bad Girl by Vargas llosa. and watching sad movies which have this amazing ability to cheer me up. Does that make sense- like this one-ugh- Its not a love story! Oh my god, it was so painful, the girl and the story and the damn camera forever focusing on her thighs! Ram Gopal Varma-oh my god. but it gives me some perverse happiness- that hey, look people are doing bad bad things all around. It wont make sense and in that spirit I also saw Michael Douglas say No, no, no sex please to Demi Moore in some movie whose name I have forgotten in less than two hours. I keep wanting to say Contagion though! We also saw The Debt. Mirren didnt have much of a role but the younger Mirren played by Jessica Chastain did an awesomely superb job. Rest can be ignored.
I need me some food. I hate cooking for just me. I have some chicken and some Kheema and some fish. The house is silent like Sunday's back home. Chicken curry-fish fry lunches and then a nap and then the 5:00 malayalam movie- no matter what crap they play. Back in Btown we used to do it, boi loves his afternoon nap. I am sad. I am a sad kitten. Like sad Keanu. :o Haha, ok that cheered me up.
Later
As I said earlier, the room is fine, the people are fine, everything is just fine. But all I can think of is going back to Bloomington. I will stop now, maybe I might jinx myself.
Life is on standstill till Wednesday. Till everyone gets back with comments on the story I submitted last week. Especially L.E's comments. LE pronounces a story as a success or just ok and I am torn, torn re reading it. I dont know what to think and my head hurts from analyzing what he is thinking. So Wednesday and it depresses me that if its bad I will have to cry alone and if its good I have to be on phone telling boi. Its really not thaaat big a deal- I guess after all I am here to get better but I cant shake off that feeling that this counts towards something.
We went to a Prof.s house for Labor day- I think I mentioned earlier on. Most people brought their spouses/ partners and I can tell you that A was the best looking boi there. No, I am not just saying that cos he is on a flight back home. Really! I dont understand how people can dress so badly and step out! I wont get into details because well you know- who knows who might see this along the road. Anyhow. It wasnt so bad- the socializing. I managed to stay about two hours without quite looking foolish, except when I ran into Ha Jin and literally stayed open mouthed and thankfully Boi saved me from that. From further - I am so so so so thrilled to meet you dialogues from leaving my mouth repeatedly. The food was bad.
I am supposed to be reading Silence by Shusaku Endo and instead I am obssesively reading The Bad Girl by Vargas llosa. and watching sad movies which have this amazing ability to cheer me up. Does that make sense- like this one-ugh- Its not a love story! Oh my god, it was so painful, the girl and the story and the damn camera forever focusing on her thighs! Ram Gopal Varma-oh my god. but it gives me some perverse happiness- that hey, look people are doing bad bad things all around. It wont make sense and in that spirit I also saw Michael Douglas say No, no, no sex please to Demi Moore in some movie whose name I have forgotten in less than two hours. I keep wanting to say Contagion though! We also saw The Debt. Mirren didnt have much of a role but the younger Mirren played by Jessica Chastain did an awesomely superb job. Rest can be ignored.
I need me some food. I hate cooking for just me. I have some chicken and some Kheema and some fish. The house is silent like Sunday's back home. Chicken curry-fish fry lunches and then a nap and then the 5:00 malayalam movie- no matter what crap they play. Back in Btown we used to do it, boi loves his afternoon nap. I am sad. I am a sad kitten. Like sad Keanu. :o Haha, ok that cheered me up.
Later
3 comments:
first stop, huggies :)
second stop, by the end of this one year, ur writing is gna b d best among ur classmates, cos i never seen anyone whose heart is so in it, than urs, muah.
:) Thanks P! what a nice thing to say and so rarely :p
First of all: Not a Love Story?? No wonder you are depressed!Pinne, PJ said it all... You are an awesome writer, and trust me, by the end of this year, L.E will be raving about you himself!
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