Girls

So as promised earlier this is the post on the new-er girls I met. I was in two minds by mid saturday afternoon about going for the thing because I felt convinced that the thing wouldn't be worth anything. Plus A had clothes shopping and by the time I dragged back home it was time to leave again. And I was irritated that dinner was at 6! I mean who has dinner at 6! I had lunch at 3 so all together I did not want to meet anyone plus the directions to the place seemed sketchy but the husband figured it all out and texted it to me so there weren't many more excuses to make and also I hate being that person who RSVP's and cancels last minute. And well, I am so glad I went! 

It seemed a little comical how quickly everything during dinner became about dating/boys/getting married. I mean I have no right to say this because I am sitting on the other side of the fence. Most of them were in their mid 30's and working which I was duly jealous of. Most of them had terrible dating stories. There was a couple of girls who had been swindled for the green card and then divorced! The girl who had almost gotten engaged before the guy disappeared altogether leaving her to explain to her parents. The girl who caught a flight to see someone she met online who took her to an Amway meeting! It was all rather frightening. But they were all such good sports and full of life. Which was a lot of fun to be around. I didn't feel left out at all with my lack of job situation. I had completely forgotten my who-eats-dinner-early woes and I stuffed myself with a huge bowl of lentil and ham soup and forgot my no drinking rule and had martinis and soon we sat there so long, we missed the movie! Then we headed off to someone's apartment, who lived very close by.

The other thing that struck me from what they said was how they all seemed to want to marry Desi boys! I couldn't help wonder why! The lady who was divorced said that she just couldn't handle the culture clash anymore and she wanted someone who could sit down with her parents and have a long chat amongst other things. Of course I realize that every desire springs from some personal experience but it was amazing to hear the stories that are apparently going on in the suburbs where there is a huge indian-american population where the men:women ratio is skewed and apparently there is a lot of push and pull happening in the dating scene! 

And so many of them are on shaadi.com! Lord! I kept thinking I escaped all that from India and is this what is happening here! But then again why am I suprised! Ultimately people just want to be with someone they can really have a conversation with and if they want Desis, then they want Desis! I hope it works out for them. 

The last thing before I forget. I have been having horrid baby angst. Like I have baby dreams all the time. I think its beyond my control or something now. Like some kind of hormonal thing maybe to do with age! I have no idea. And I have a very strong feeling its not going to happen for me. And there was this girl who I got along very well with and soon it was just me and her talking and she said, you know I think I am going to miss my window with the whole married-baby deal. But I love kids so much, I have been looking into adoption. And I felt this huge relief  That at least I could be surrounded by people who I can actually talk to. And I could have hugged- well, eventually I did. But yeah.

I am grateful if I have a child- I will be super grateful. But I am also in two minds about all the infertility treatments people go through. I have seen first hand all the effects of the hormones on your body by the time you hit your late forties. Will I do that? I dont know. I have too much paranoia to inject so much stuff into my body and then who knows if it will even be successful.

Anyway I guess I am glad I stepped out.