Tuesday, February 25, 2014

We are alive

We are still alive& well. Just exceptionally tired on some days that blogging has been the least of my concerns. I always think it could be worse about any situation and so I am never able to entirely convince myself this is the worst, but yesterday I needed to pee and I went to the loo and sat down but my body wouldn't co operate and I kept thinking there is something wrong here but I couldn't figure what for many seconds and then I realized i hadn't downed my pants. Oh well.

So we have made it to week 6- almost- and no one has yet dropped her on head or smothered her. Our biggest challenge is to crib her which I am sort of ok with for now but I think it bothers A much. He tries & tries!  I hardly try. I don't mind the co-sleeping too much except that I always need a dull light behind my bedside which gives me a dull headache throughout the day but which too I have learnt to cope with.
otherwise she is adorable and I louw her little face even at 2 in the morning when Amma hands her over after her shift. She comes with her tiny fists all bunched and eyes wide open and making this njum njum sound, a smacking of the gums! She has zero patience which I am guessing is normal; she is sniffing and clawing at my shirt giving me not even a moment to register that its 2 and its my shift. The shifts end soon anyway with Amma leaving so I better get used to it.
She gave me her first real smile the other day, it was a shy smile and she looked away immediately but oh-my- heart. I generally dislike all the baby-myths as I call them. The you-will-feel-overwhelming-love as soon as you hold her and yadda yadda. Tell that to someone who has had a difficult surgery/ labor/ whatever and is zoned out on pain meds for days.
But the smile. I was immediately like I will do anything for you my little master!

I am constantly amazed at how much devotion she commands from us. Unwavering devotion commanded by a tiny human! I think I will continue to be mesmerized by it for a while.

Breastfeeding has been pleasant for most parts. She is a hard worker and will go on forever if I let her. Always choosing to feed and puke as opposed to giving up when done. I am doing formula feeding a few of the feeds basically because when I was in the hospital these guys had to and after that when I was back it seemed like she wasn't getting enough from just boobage and lot of wailing and crying. Then the doctor wasn't happy with weight gain for that hospital week and she suggested that we give some. It doesn't bother me too much and she seems happier.

We celebrated her 28th day with fan fare although there was tremendous stress involved with bad traffic+ going to caterers+ delayed etc but we finally got home in time. Everyone came late- thank god and the food was awesome and lot of fun and merry making happened and the best part was tiny human who had been so cranky all day that we had to take her with us to the caterer actually fell asleep after all the ceremony was done and slept and slept for 5 hours straight in her chair that too!  & I put a pottu on her for the first time- lol- and she looked ridiculously adorable and I love all the photos and we cut the cake and all was well.

so basically all is well. If she could just get done with her 'witching hour' I would be mega grateful.


2 comments:

The Bride said...

Lovely to hear that all is well. Babies are amazing in how they cooperate at the most unexpected times. I remember being totally freaked when my work colleagues were visiting and Benji was at his worst for that whole week. Then they arrived and he basically slept through the entire thing! Everyone thought I was a barefaced liar about how difficult he was. Same when I took him to the doc...but the doc was like: "oh don't worry, we know this, babies do this all the time."

Much love to you both!

Heathcliffs Girl said...

Aw thank you! Yeah she was so good, golden even! Never got a repeat of that, yet! :/