She likes stretching after a nap and if swaddled somehow manages to free her arms and then kicks and kicks till the lower part is loose!
She loves sleeping on her side with one hand tucked under her ear and one below her chin. It looks a little uncomfy and everytime I try to put her on her back, she waits a bit, and turns on the side again.
No long naps for this one. When will brain development happen, you little caterpillar? I put her down, think HA! ten mins tops, and she is up and stretching. Just kidding, mommie.
The problem is most times when I pick her up she assumes yay boobie time and goes nuts if nothing is forthcoming.
Her blankets are so soft and comfy sometimes I throw it over our heads and its dark and its just me and her and her breath, warm against my face.
Whenever she yawns, I stick my nose in there. My nose is clean. Yesterday she had her revenge. I am thinking aah this smell and she had a spit up moment and well, let's just say, I wont be doing it again for a while. Lesson learnt for now.
Earlier baths were a torture but now its her time-to-reflect place and she looks very serious and thoughtful and loves the warm bath but the second she is out she wails till clothed. Its cold here, so understandable, except she needs boobies as a treat to calm down again. Just five mins of comfort nursing. We walk, we put her in her chair, we sing, we do funny walks- nope. BOOBIES. I usually just give in. Big deal.
Day time naps are always on my belly/ Amma's belly. I don't know. People say its habit forming. Perhaps. But she is so tiny- still. Its so easy to forget how tiny she really is because you get so used to having her around. After all you have an infant only for a few months, soon she will be a toddler, soon she wont want to cuddle up on me. Now when I am needed, let me enjoy it.
The Fear. I have been so busy and tired that it took a while for The Fear to arrive. Oh the panic. I have this fb group for 'brown mommies' - slightly meh name for a group- but anyhow and someone had posted in there about the death of a child who tried climbing on his dresser and it toppled over. I couldn't even read through it without panicking and feeling terrible for the mother and the rest of her children.
Then there is also the fear of my own mortality- the-what-happens-to-her. Amma, when I told her had her own panic attack at that and went ballistic on me for 'always being morbid and morose'.
Always?
Like A said, why did we ever binge watch tv shows and stay up late? Why didn't we sleep and sleep and sleep. Oh the glory of sleep.
Must buy her a swing before Amma leaves. For our own sanity.
Her eye-hand co ordination has improved so much. She grabs for the pacifier, for her bottle etc and its such a joy to watch her get it right.
Loves having her head rubbed while she feeds, falls asleep promptly at boob. Loves her back being rubbed.
You know about those animals that eat their young? or fish, I think. I want to eat her toes. I settle for nibbling.
Smells so good after an oil rub and bath. Best scent in the world. but should never be bottled.
Is doing that little baby pout when exceptionally sad about the state of things in her life, eyes all filled with water. Right now? I would give her anything she wanted with that face but perhaps I should eventually learn some control.
I have seen her smile in her sleep and oh, she has a dimple! But then one day while on my chest I felt her pant/ shiver/ bob and I look down and she is laughing! It was so ridiculously adorable. I didn't even know babies did this in sleep.
How lucky I am. I say that to her every now and then- about how immensely lucky I am to have her.
What a privilege, what an honor.
She loves sleeping on her side with one hand tucked under her ear and one below her chin. It looks a little uncomfy and everytime I try to put her on her back, she waits a bit, and turns on the side again.
No long naps for this one. When will brain development happen, you little caterpillar? I put her down, think HA! ten mins tops, and she is up and stretching. Just kidding, mommie.
The problem is most times when I pick her up she assumes yay boobie time and goes nuts if nothing is forthcoming.
Her blankets are so soft and comfy sometimes I throw it over our heads and its dark and its just me and her and her breath, warm against my face.
Whenever she yawns, I stick my nose in there. My nose is clean. Yesterday she had her revenge. I am thinking aah this smell and she had a spit up moment and well, let's just say, I wont be doing it again for a while. Lesson learnt for now.
Earlier baths were a torture but now its her time-to-reflect place and she looks very serious and thoughtful and loves the warm bath but the second she is out she wails till clothed. Its cold here, so understandable, except she needs boobies as a treat to calm down again. Just five mins of comfort nursing. We walk, we put her in her chair, we sing, we do funny walks- nope. BOOBIES. I usually just give in. Big deal.
Day time naps are always on my belly/ Amma's belly. I don't know. People say its habit forming. Perhaps. But she is so tiny- still. Its so easy to forget how tiny she really is because you get so used to having her around. After all you have an infant only for a few months, soon she will be a toddler, soon she wont want to cuddle up on me. Now when I am needed, let me enjoy it.
The Fear. I have been so busy and tired that it took a while for The Fear to arrive. Oh the panic. I have this fb group for 'brown mommies' - slightly meh name for a group- but anyhow and someone had posted in there about the death of a child who tried climbing on his dresser and it toppled over. I couldn't even read through it without panicking and feeling terrible for the mother and the rest of her children.
Then there is also the fear of my own mortality- the-what-happens-to-her. Amma, when I told her had her own panic attack at that and went ballistic on me for 'always being morbid and morose'.
Always?
Like A said, why did we ever binge watch tv shows and stay up late? Why didn't we sleep and sleep and sleep. Oh the glory of sleep.
Must buy her a swing before Amma leaves. For our own sanity.
Her eye-hand co ordination has improved so much. She grabs for the pacifier, for her bottle etc and its such a joy to watch her get it right.
Loves having her head rubbed while she feeds, falls asleep promptly at boob. Loves her back being rubbed.
You know about those animals that eat their young? or fish, I think. I want to eat her toes. I settle for nibbling.
Smells so good after an oil rub and bath. Best scent in the world. but should never be bottled.
Is doing that little baby pout when exceptionally sad about the state of things in her life, eyes all filled with water. Right now? I would give her anything she wanted with that face but perhaps I should eventually learn some control.
I have seen her smile in her sleep and oh, she has a dimple! But then one day while on my chest I felt her pant/ shiver/ bob and I look down and she is laughing! It was so ridiculously adorable. I didn't even know babies did this in sleep.
How lucky I am. I say that to her every now and then- about how immensely lucky I am to have her.
What a privilege, what an honor.
1 comment:
This was so pure,so beautiful, that I am tempted to not comment. To leave this moment with you, to let you selfishly enjoy it by yourself. To stand on the peripheral and watch and smile and be tempted to touch and smell.
Love you so much kutty. And I love that little kutty of yours just as much :)
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