Take notes

so let me rewind a little before i delve in and come up with these gems. while growing up i wanted to be like a hell lot of things. so like i came up with abrilliant one, i think around std five- a mailwoman. there was that game then? when you see a mail van you do something?? i forget what.something with your fingers..

but the point is i wanted that. the red van was like so cool and powerful.i mean people were making games about it so imagine driving that thing around.

then i moved on to wanting to be a teacher. i dreamnt of pretty pink sarees, reading english, i would practise teaching huckleberry finn in my room. for some odd reason i came up with my own accent neither british nor american,some kind of oddity which also i thought was so cool.
and my friend and neighbour told me how sophisticated i sound. so i let her be my student. and i would drape amma's old synthetic sarees around in me,no pleats nothing just grabe em and drape em. and put on her old spectacles! what was i thinking!!
anyway after my math teacher pinched me and took a good part of my skin away i gave up that hope. i was disillusioned with the teaching fraternity you see!

its around this time i discovered a passing joke about a boy whose father asked him what he wanted to be and he answered i want to be an elephant. which i found so funny.
funny how i was the only one who laughed at that joke the nth time i said it. so well i took that up and soon any old,uncle,aunty who made the mistake of asking me hoping to hear engineer/doctor answers were treated to "i want to be a giraffe, an ant" animals suited to my current mood. i discovered that gazelless were supposed to be graceful and soon i was that.

anyway stages i tell you!

moving on, what is common is my terrifying need to be "sophisticated" in whatever i was going to be, gazelle or otherwise!
so i noticed how beautiful air hostesses were. of course back then when i was in my first air india flight even the slighly older woman with tons of make up was beauutiful in my eyes.
so i decided this is it.
i guess i had forgotten the existence of a species called parents who were just waiting to hear such a thing fall out of my mouth. it will suffice to say i never hear the end of it. even today sometimes they go- haha remember how she wanted to be a waiter.
yes,i agree very discriminating, slightly foolish people they are esp when it comes to things like proffession.

throughout all this i read up like everything i could find. books that sometimes made no sense then.love in the time of cholera dint move me the way it did later,or joyce who i gave up quickly on and i discovered writing and debate club. and soon i was lost. i loved reading the paper which all my friends then detested and i sort of chanced upon the revelation that may be.
i just wanted to read and write and thats all there was to it.but then of course things like money making, admissions got in the way and i got stuck with economics,political science and maths! for crying out loud.
and then even worse. i did an MBA. i realised very quickly i wasnt cut out for it.and there was nothing for me here, but i had taken it up and i went through.

but the point is finally what i never did take up. never occured to me to take up.
photography. i envied people their lovely shots. i obsessed with black and white pics despite people saying its passe now.
but it never occured to me to take it up as a hobby.
and now i am getting me my first SLR. and am nervous cos i dont want to just do anymore point and click. i am worrying about all the money i am going to end up spending and how and what if i never get any good at it.
but then again i guess il just leap with it.

so yes, thats all there is to it. of gazelles and teachers,of photos and wrong choices.