I have always wanted to have a Mother in law who I would totally get along with. In that way I am quite easy to like, my friends mums have always liked me and I somehow find it easy to make conversation with them. and as for the MIL I wanted someone who I could genuinely like and not fake-like, which I end up doing with many of dad's sisters and other ammayi veshams. :/ They are honestly a pain in the ass, trust me even my tolerance levels cant stand them.
Anyway so a couple of ex bf's mum have also liked me much which was nice except of course when I broke up with them it wasnt pleasant at all, cos I felt terribly guilty and in one particular case I kept making excuses for this scum bag cos of his mum. Most most painful situation. Anyway I am quite sure she dislikes me now and well, I dont blame her entirely. Here is a lesson: Never meet your bf's mums till you are like sure-shuvar. Yeah. Dont. No matter how much they force you. yup. That is all the wisdom I have to share on that for now.
Proceeding on, So when it looked like snoop's mum was finally going to be the MIL I was a little nervous. I had only seen her pictures and the day they were coming home I was quite a bundle of nerves but she made it so easy. she also told me that I was a very pretty girl ;p That helps you know.
Before leaving she told me not to call her Aunty anymore and to call her Amma. Yes, of course, those kind of things make me all gooey and warm inside. I am also a very silly girl. Though I did take some time calling her Amma, its kinda hard you know. I mean you have called this one person Ma, all along and suddenly...
Surprisingly my own mum who is btw quite the jealous kinds about sharing my love- yeah!! so odd that, she hated my said ex-bf's mum, hated that lady calling me and so on- so this was very suprising for me. she totally took to snoop's mum and they got along pretty well.
So my MIL, mum and I were just hanging out when I was cochin waiting for my stupid visa and it wasnt odd at all, we had much fun having lunches and watching a horrible Malayalam movie :/
Initially I had a small fall out with her. Not in her face sorts, just a small unhappy feeling in my heart but that is all long gone so I wont get into it cos I kind of understand where that came from. I guess the reason we do get along is cos she has no control issues, she is happy just letting us be. Initially she was a little worried, I guess she needed to get to know me so I stayed over on weekends and did my two cents. and we talked much and when it was his dad's birthday we had our own small celebration, just the three of us. I cooked them a nice dinner and cut a chocolate cake and it was fun.
I tend to beleive that in most cases, at least in what I have seen, this is not a universal fact and I know its not true in many many cases but I tend to beleive that how a new family behaves to you largely depends on your attitude to them. Just you know try to remember that you are not there to conquer their son and family and change everything in a few days time because, you just know your way is the best!! Your way might be indeed the best but you are new and they dont know you.. so take it easy. :)
Snoop's mum thinks I am funny. and funnily enough I am! She laughs so much at my general nonsense! she told him once " yeah she just left, said lots of mandatharams and all ( foolishness)" :p
Also the thing is she respects my decisions to do what I want. she doesnt say annoying things like " what will you do with this MFA" or "wouldnt this course be better?" she only asks to see my stories and during the time of applying she was always telling me " How its going to happen and if it doesnt we will try again.." which i absolutely adored about her. Snoop tends to be a little impatient with them which is normal I guess cos we are always short with our own family. whereas with my parents he makes more of an effort so I guess its a full circle. She likes hearing what we did, where we went and general ameriga stories which I always supply her with :)
ps; I just remembered something else to add. Also dont be all servile and subservient if that is not really you right from the start in that need to impress them. cos what you put forward first will be sort of expected from you there, on. so if there is something that you feel not right about, say it, tactfully. or as tactfully as you can. cos you see, if you start not being you just to please them soon you end up resenting yourself and them which is not fair to anyone! Also if you have been all agreeable about every god damn thing right from the start, soon you wont know how to say no to them and also if they are not exactly nice peeps then there is a good chance they are going to exploit your fake/ real nice-ness. There you go.
So today I was just thinking I did after all get that MIL I wanted. :)
Anyway so a couple of ex bf's mum have also liked me much which was nice except of course when I broke up with them it wasnt pleasant at all, cos I felt terribly guilty and in one particular case I kept making excuses for this scum bag cos of his mum. Most most painful situation. Anyway I am quite sure she dislikes me now and well, I dont blame her entirely. Here is a lesson: Never meet your bf's mums till you are like sure-shuvar. Yeah. Dont. No matter how much they force you. yup. That is all the wisdom I have to share on that for now.
Proceeding on, So when it looked like snoop's mum was finally going to be the MIL I was a little nervous. I had only seen her pictures and the day they were coming home I was quite a bundle of nerves but she made it so easy. she also told me that I was a very pretty girl ;p That helps you know.
Before leaving she told me not to call her Aunty anymore and to call her Amma. Yes, of course, those kind of things make me all gooey and warm inside. I am also a very silly girl. Though I did take some time calling her Amma, its kinda hard you know. I mean you have called this one person Ma, all along and suddenly...
Surprisingly my own mum who is btw quite the jealous kinds about sharing my love- yeah!! so odd that, she hated my said ex-bf's mum, hated that lady calling me and so on- so this was very suprising for me. she totally took to snoop's mum and they got along pretty well.
So my MIL, mum and I were just hanging out when I was cochin waiting for my stupid visa and it wasnt odd at all, we had much fun having lunches and watching a horrible Malayalam movie :/
Initially I had a small fall out with her. Not in her face sorts, just a small unhappy feeling in my heart but that is all long gone so I wont get into it cos I kind of understand where that came from. I guess the reason we do get along is cos she has no control issues, she is happy just letting us be. Initially she was a little worried, I guess she needed to get to know me so I stayed over on weekends and did my two cents. and we talked much and when it was his dad's birthday we had our own small celebration, just the three of us. I cooked them a nice dinner and cut a chocolate cake and it was fun.
I tend to beleive that in most cases, at least in what I have seen, this is not a universal fact and I know its not true in many many cases but I tend to beleive that how a new family behaves to you largely depends on your attitude to them. Just you know try to remember that you are not there to conquer their son and family and change everything in a few days time because, you just know your way is the best!! Your way might be indeed the best but you are new and they dont know you.. so take it easy. :)
Snoop's mum thinks I am funny. and funnily enough I am! She laughs so much at my general nonsense! she told him once " yeah she just left, said lots of mandatharams and all ( foolishness)" :p
Also the thing is she respects my decisions to do what I want. she doesnt say annoying things like " what will you do with this MFA" or "wouldnt this course be better?" she only asks to see my stories and during the time of applying she was always telling me " How its going to happen and if it doesnt we will try again.." which i absolutely adored about her. Snoop tends to be a little impatient with them which is normal I guess cos we are always short with our own family. whereas with my parents he makes more of an effort so I guess its a full circle. She likes hearing what we did, where we went and general ameriga stories which I always supply her with :)
ps; I just remembered something else to add. Also dont be all servile and subservient if that is not really you right from the start in that need to impress them. cos what you put forward first will be sort of expected from you there, on. so if there is something that you feel not right about, say it, tactfully. or as tactfully as you can. cos you see, if you start not being you just to please them soon you end up resenting yourself and them which is not fair to anyone! Also if you have been all agreeable about every god damn thing right from the start, soon you wont know how to say no to them and also if they are not exactly nice peeps then there is a good chance they are going to exploit your fake/ real nice-ness. There you go.
So today I was just thinking I did after all get that MIL I wanted. :)
2 comments:
yaay yaay yaay! :) I always wanted one who would cook like the bestest bestest food in the world.
My fingers are crossed.
J: I bet you some avial that you will :o Also i reedited it so you might want to read the added pearls of wisdom. :/
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