Have I told you about my sister? Other than that I have one.. Probably not.She is a miniature version of me to look at and completely different from me in vocation/profession. She was always the brainy one, the one meant to carry my parents hopes and wishes and fulfill them when the first daughter failed to comply. I guess, V, never had much of a choice. Our parents brought us up very different. with me they placed very less restraints and made me do everything on my own. Well not so much made me as they forgot or you know it didnt matter or whatever their reasons are and then they werent too happy with the final result so they went a complete turn with my sister. Now this was hard because V was in her teens when they decided that their techniques hadnt worked with me so they needed to alter it but you know changing logic on a teenager isnt exactly pleasant.
Surprisingly, V put very less of a fight. I still wonder why. A guilty part of me thinks it has something to do with me. Our Mum pretty much drove it into her that "she was all there was left" :/ gawd! I told her so many times this kind of pressure on a kid isnt good. and even my dad who always told me to follow my heart changed his notions when it came to her and ultimately they all decided she was to be a doctor.
Apparently V had said long long back, in her tenth std that she wanted to become a doctor. I am sure she didnt think they would hold her to it. and sadly she went through some of the hardest period of time where my parents send her to coaching centers and then got her to take a year off and study harder when she didnt do well the first time! It was so painful because V would be constantly angry at everyone including herself for not able to say No. I couldnt interfere cos amma pretty much told me that I was to stay out of her "future" and I, to be honest was dealing with a creepy ex bf so I guess I just let it be. I probably should have tried harder to get her out of it. The thing is V, herself admits she loves her course, she loves studying and she knows this is the best career for her because it excites her but she hates her college and her classmates and I convinced her to break up with her dirt bag ex bf so she is pretty much you know...alone.. and that makes her very very grumpy and she throws monumental fits of anger and disillusionment.
so most of the time when I call she is sad and mopey with nothing to tell me and this makes me so so sad. V was always the most animated with me. she is quite the introvert and finds it difficult to make friends easily. but with me she has always been so happy with her silly stories and her high pitched giggles. I miss my happy sister. right now all I can do is keep telling her its only another two years and I promise to get her out of there this time..
I was listening to this Malayalam song about two sisters and I just had to write this. V was such a tiny thing when she was born that everyone thought she wouldnt make it. but she is quite the fighter that kid. Literally. All bones and muscle and can inflict much damage if you are fighting her psychically which I have many times
Before she was born I remember everyone wanted to you know, not feel too jealous or anything which was stupid because I was never the jealous kinds, till very recently ie. and more than anything I was damn excited because they said I was going to have a sister to play with. Naturally I assumed she would pop out and we would head straight out to you know..play.. Just me and sister, hanging out.. and then they brought her out and my grand mum and me are standing in the hallway and grandmom, the one I adore, is holding this tiny thing and praying! and I am like: what are you kidding me? Is this it? when is this ever going to walk, let alone play with me!! < In other words>
As she grew up she turned out to be quite a pain in the ass. Extremely vociferous, picks fights with all neighboring kids, can inflict serious damage with hair pulling and morning tantrums! As I leave for school she will emerge wearing one little underwear ready to carry my water bottle till the auto stop and god, would she make a scene if she wasnt allowed and evenings she would be waiting up :) Quite the little charmer. Everyone loved how adorable she looked, motu and fair with curly hair..My parents were also kicked about her. she was studious and every evening at about seven she would sit down with all her books around her while I was busy watching cartoon network. and obviously amma would go : dont you have anything to study, look at V!
Yes look at V, so immersed in god knows what! Time and again I told her to stop "pretending" to study making all these issues for me! She was like "No echi I have lots of homework!"
Amma would go: what about your homework, s?
S always did her homework in the bus on her way to school :p and in some cases,you know, math she hurriedly copied it after assembly. So one day I decided to punish V. she was sitting, legs crossed and her books on the teapoy and reading out aloud. I told her " Hey V, got a minute?"
"Of course Echi" she came running. I locked her in the bedroom with me and switched off the lights and.. you know scared her! Told her that she was a little monster for making me look so bad and that the ghost in this room would get her now if she didnt promise to change. How she screamed that night! Needless to say it didnt go down too well with the parents. :/
So many many memories with her. I love her in a way that I sometimes think is only possible to love one's own child. But I have taken care of V, for so long..soo long between the many fights and issues at home that sometimes I feel she is my little kid.. I love you my little monster.
Surprisingly, V put very less of a fight. I still wonder why. A guilty part of me thinks it has something to do with me. Our Mum pretty much drove it into her that "she was all there was left" :/ gawd! I told her so many times this kind of pressure on a kid isnt good. and even my dad who always told me to follow my heart changed his notions when it came to her and ultimately they all decided she was to be a doctor.
Apparently V had said long long back, in her tenth std that she wanted to become a doctor. I am sure she didnt think they would hold her to it. and sadly she went through some of the hardest period of time where my parents send her to coaching centers and then got her to take a year off and study harder when she didnt do well the first time! It was so painful because V would be constantly angry at everyone including herself for not able to say No. I couldnt interfere cos amma pretty much told me that I was to stay out of her "future" and I, to be honest was dealing with a creepy ex bf so I guess I just let it be. I probably should have tried harder to get her out of it. The thing is V, herself admits she loves her course, she loves studying and she knows this is the best career for her because it excites her but she hates her college and her classmates and I convinced her to break up with her dirt bag ex bf so she is pretty much you know...alone.. and that makes her very very grumpy and she throws monumental fits of anger and disillusionment.
so most of the time when I call she is sad and mopey with nothing to tell me and this makes me so so sad. V was always the most animated with me. she is quite the introvert and finds it difficult to make friends easily. but with me she has always been so happy with her silly stories and her high pitched giggles. I miss my happy sister. right now all I can do is keep telling her its only another two years and I promise to get her out of there this time..
I was listening to this Malayalam song about two sisters and I just had to write this. V was such a tiny thing when she was born that everyone thought she wouldnt make it. but she is quite the fighter that kid. Literally. All bones and muscle and can inflict much damage if you are fighting her psychically which I have many times
Before she was born I remember everyone wanted to you know, not feel too jealous or anything which was stupid because I was never the jealous kinds, till very recently ie. and more than anything I was damn excited because they said I was going to have a sister to play with. Naturally I assumed she would pop out and we would head straight out to you know..play.. Just me and sister, hanging out.. and then they brought her out and my grand mum and me are standing in the hallway and grandmom, the one I adore, is holding this tiny thing and praying! and I am like: what are you kidding me? Is this it? when is this ever going to walk, let alone play with me!! < In other words>
As she grew up she turned out to be quite a pain in the ass. Extremely vociferous, picks fights with all neighboring kids, can inflict serious damage with hair pulling and morning tantrums! As I leave for school she will emerge wearing one little underwear ready to carry my water bottle till the auto stop and god, would she make a scene if she wasnt allowed and evenings she would be waiting up :) Quite the little charmer. Everyone loved how adorable she looked, motu and fair with curly hair..My parents were also kicked about her. she was studious and every evening at about seven she would sit down with all her books around her while I was busy watching cartoon network. and obviously amma would go : dont you have anything to study, look at V!
Yes look at V, so immersed in god knows what! Time and again I told her to stop "pretending" to study making all these issues for me! She was like "No echi I have lots of homework!"
Amma would go: what about your homework, s?
S always did her homework in the bus on her way to school :p and in some cases,you know, math she hurriedly copied it after assembly. So one day I decided to punish V. she was sitting, legs crossed and her books on the teapoy and reading out aloud. I told her " Hey V, got a minute?"
"Of course Echi" she came running. I locked her in the bedroom with me and switched off the lights and.. you know scared her! Told her that she was a little monster for making me look so bad and that the ghost in this room would get her now if she didnt promise to change. How she screamed that night! Needless to say it didnt go down too well with the parents. :/
So many many memories with her. I love her in a way that I sometimes think is only possible to love one's own child. But I have taken care of V, for so long..soo long between the many fights and issues at home that sometimes I feel she is my little kid.. I love you my little monster.
2 comments:
awwwie! what a beautiful post.
god! i feel like goin n meetin up wid her. we cud just hand out smwhr in cochin tgdr, comfortably grumpy, den slowly start volunteerin cynical comments abt d world arnd us n den enjoy ourselves.
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