Bitching about kerala

As much as i love kerala and cochin esp,somethings are just not worth it. And i am so frustrated right now that i can bitch about it without feeling too many qualms. So one of the wonderful things about keralites is their ability to say no. Its quite a movement really. They excel in the art of saying No to anything in many different ways. Here are a few of the one's i have come across.
The hunched-over-dirty-desk No: Here you come across very shabbily dressed women/or unshaven men in offices that havent been dusted since their grandfathers worked there. I get it.You hate your job.you hate when people ask you questions.you just want to go home,drink old monk and die as early as possible. But i cant do anything about it now. i need answers.i need to know how to change my surname,where to get the form,how long will it take.
So this person will barely look at you. you start talking they say nothing. you speak wondering if they are listening and at the end just about when you are winding up,they will say a quick brisk abrupt No. You can just easily miss it. so the idiot that you are,you will say: what? i am sorry? They will grunt again: NO.

The sympathetic No: These guys are true artists. They lead you on. They are kind with oval plump faces and fat fingers. they will listen to you.resting their chin in their palms. peering at you with oh-no that happened to you? eyes. and the idiot that you are you will think,oh thank god there is someone who gets it.though her hair smells funny. but who cares about that right now. i am sure she is going to be useful. You give her a slightly more exaggerated version of your story,add some funnies,give her some laughs. AND in the grand finale she will say : "hmm so yeah..no. " You: what! i am sorry? they will smile at you, maybe pat your shoulder and say of course we cant do it.

Then there is the hop-skip and jump no.
Here basically they are training you to be flexible acrobats. they say jump you jump.they say run to counter 2 now,you make a mad dash, you reach there,counter 2 is just closing. You are lead to the "information" section where more people dismiss you.
and at the end of all this you come back home defeated with your things still incomplete reeling from the sheer negativitiy.

But. But,the good part is. yeah,of course there is a good part! you become adept at dealing with this. You go to anyplace prepared to counter attack the No brigade. you carry all the fucking forms from the history of form making days. Registration,confirmation.his mothers birth date number.
you get the idea. You are ready because you trained.
but sadly your mother is not. She calls you at 3 in the mornings now because she no longer cares that you should get your sleep cos she,is running around hearing the No's. You want to say "hey remember the times when i used to come home and tell you that is how they behave and you said its because i did not try hard enough??"

Har har.

No laughs there. Really. No.